"You will meet someone today and they will seem nice"
What you will not find in your horoscope:
"Today you will find out you are adopted, if not today then it is only a matter of time. Seriously, you look nothing like your so-called "parents." You will also lose your job, and an unspecified limb."
"Men in masks will break in to your home and force you to play trivial pursuit, the fact that they seem to get all the easy questions will irk you. Make ready, you will soon be called upon to defend the entire species from certain destruction."
The new MacDonalds slogan was shortened from its original form when test audiences did not respond well to "I'm lovin' it right now but I know that in half an hour or so I am going to have to evacuate my bowels whether I can find a public washroom or not." Lucky the second part of the slogan is still very much implied.
Customer: I'm lovin' it
Server: Indeed, sir, the washroom is on the right.