The Colonel's definitions

Bad Hop

A baseball hit on the ground that takes an unexpected, usually sharp bounce upwards.

While any unexpected movement can be considered a bad hop - off to the side or even some unusual spin on the ball - most bad hops "leap up" suddenly just before reaching the player attempting to field it.

The negative ("bad") nature of the term refers to its difficulty to catch (inherent in catching a ball is successfully being able to predict the ball's exact path or trajectory).

Not only are balls which take a bad hop hard to catch, they are often dangerous and can hit a player in the face or upper body.

Bad hops can be caused by dry or wet spots on the grass or dirt, small rocks or weed clumps, or even tiny imperfections or divits on the surface of the ground.

It looked like a routine play, but the ball took a bad hop off the edge of the grass and hit the shortshop in the eye.

by The Colonel October 29, 2007

rig

To have relations (of a sexual nature) with a woman.

Dude, see that hot blonde chick? I rigged her last night.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

Crinkle Cones

Saline breast implants. Refers to creases in the saline bags which you can actually see on the surface of a woman's breast. Usually seen when a woman is bending over or in any non-vertical position - you'll see lines or creases running along the sides of the breasts (imagine a zip-lock sandwich baggie filled with water). Typically seen as a sign of a low budget breast augmentation procedure, as well as the inferior nature of saline breast implants when compared to silcone.

Dude, that chick at the beach was pretty hot but she had full on crinkle cones.

by The Colonel November 10, 2005

clag

Unidentifiable substance, usually of a secreted, bodily fluid type nature. Australian version of "shmegma".

Dude, I've gotta change my shirt...I just noticed that there's clag all over it.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

kookmeyer

Wilbur Kookmeyer, a popular cartoon character from Surfer Magazine. He is the epitome of a kook - can't surf worth a shit and is a complete friendless loser (except for his dog, although you get the impression that his dog thinks he's a kook, too), but loves surfing and thinks of himself as a pro-caliber ripper. Hated by all other surfers and constantly humiliating himself and behaving like, well...a kook.

Huntington Beach is full of kookmeyers, especially all those 30-something dipshits who act like locals but can't really surf worth a shit.

by The Colonel May 11, 2004

Scotched

A state of mind induced by drinking copious quantites of scotch. Usually can be identified by a happy, mellow feeling at night and a dry mouth the next day.

Don't drive while scotched.

Why go to a bar and drink when you can sit home and get scotched?

by The Colonel December 2, 2004

baby rattlesnakes

Young punks that are full of testosterone and looking to get into fights.

Dude, the NOFX show was cool but the pit was full of baby rattlesnakes.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003