3 definitions by The Malteser.
The mouthwasher is an allegorical maneuver exercised by sexual narcissistic males over degenerate and profligate skanks. Such poetic act occurs when the female attempts to suck the male's genitalia but is rudely interrupted by the latter, as he orders her to firstly rinse her mouth with mouthwash - somewhere in the lines of: "Look at me. Do you think I found my penis on the streets? Go rinse your mouth you fucking whore!"
John: Guess who just fucked who?
Peter: Whom did you fuck this time John, you son of a gun!
John: I fucked Iris John. Yeah Iris the skank!
Peter: Broooo!!!!
John: And you know what?? I maneuvered the mouthwasher!
Peter: Brooooo!!!!!
John: I violently pushed her whore-face away from my penis and..
Peter: Brooooooooooooo!!!!
John: and I told her go mouthwash your mouth you whore!!! and I kicked her outa the bed.
Peter: BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
John: Yeah. She went rinsing her mouth and came crawling back
Peter: Respect
Peter: Whom did you fuck this time John, you son of a gun!
John: I fucked Iris John. Yeah Iris the skank!
Peter: Broooo!!!!
John: And you know what?? I maneuvered the mouthwasher!
Peter: Brooooo!!!!!
John: I violently pushed her whore-face away from my penis and..
Peter: Brooooooooooooo!!!!
John: and I told her go mouthwash your mouth you whore!!! and I kicked her outa the bed.
Peter: BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
John: Yeah. She went rinsing her mouth and came crawling back
Peter: Respect
by The Malteser. March 14, 2018
'Tissue-mellons' is a phenomenon generally recoursed by small breasted girls with insufficient capital to undergo a breast cosmetic surgery. Such girls, striving to boost their self-confidence, wad layers of tissue paper in the bra until a form of cleavage is somewhat contrived. More often than not, this practice ends up exacerbating the whole situation. This is beacuse when the tissue-melloned female proceeds to carnal knowledge, the man's first reactions at the bare pigeon-tits, may have considerable negative effects on the self-esteem of the former - possibly goading the girl to add more tissue-paper the next time she goes out. The 'tissue-mellons' is a vicious cycle.
Example 1
Mary: Hurry up the taxi is here! The party starts in 15 minutes!
Sue: Fuck! Why are we out of toilet paper on a Saturday night?!
Mary: Come on let's go! You can tissue-mellons your boobs later!
Sue: fucking tits!!
Example 2
John: did you bang that chick yesterday?
Peter: yeah dude. I took her to my place and guess what?! She was tissue-melloned! But I fucked her anyways.
Mary: Hurry up the taxi is here! The party starts in 15 minutes!
Sue: Fuck! Why are we out of toilet paper on a Saturday night?!
Mary: Come on let's go! You can tissue-mellons your boobs later!
Sue: fucking tits!!
Example 2
John: did you bang that chick yesterday?
Peter: yeah dude. I took her to my place and guess what?! She was tissue-melloned! But I fucked her anyways.
by The Malteser. September 27, 2016
A gent who is perpetually horny, lascivious, concupiscent, goatish, lustful, hyper-sexual, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, libidinous, licentious, lubricious, oversexed, randy, salacious and satyric. He will literally bang anything which has a cavity, even if such cavity happens to be on a wheelchair.
John: Paul did it again yesterday. He banged poor old Katie in the parking lot right in her minivan... in the fucking handicapped parking space.
Mark: OMG what a fucking pig! How the fuck did he manage to get a boner?
John: Nah man you haven't heard the best part.. While ramming her raw, he kept making handicapped noises.
Mark: fucking wheelchair-fucker!
Mark: OMG what a fucking pig! How the fuck did he manage to get a boner?
John: Nah man you haven't heard the best part.. While ramming her raw, he kept making handicapped noises.
Mark: fucking wheelchair-fucker!
by The Malteser. September 14, 2017