Tenacious Faulker's definitions

nilla waifer

Basically your average white chick; not remarkabley attractive, not hideous either, and a bit on the thin side; as in the Nilla Wafer cookie. Used sometimes by black folks to describe a white chick or their girlfriends.

D'wayne's got hiself a cute lil' nilla waifer to buy him some shit!

Tina Fey and Paris Hilton are Morgan and Nicole Ritchie nilla waifers.

by Tenacious Faulker May 1, 2009

bar equity

The amount of time and money a guy spends on trying to hook up with a girl at a bar or night club.

Example 1:
Dude1: How'd it go last night?
Dude2: Terrible! I spent 3 hours and $45 of bar equity into some chick at the club only to have her fat cockblocker friend suddenly drag her away drunkenly shouting, "We gotta go now! Bye, Bye!"

Example 2:
Random bar ho: Hey Sexy! Wanna buy me a drink?
Guy: Uhhhh......
Wingman: (whispers) Wait, dude! You can't put any bar equity into a jersey girl. They can hold way too mch liqour and may drop you for some guido.

by Tenacious Faulker July 19, 2009

tweetfreak

Reminiscent of a speed freak (aka: the tweeker) it is one who's OCD about memorializing everything they do at any given moment on Twitter; that is, one who tweets incessantly, constantly and/or needlessly.

(phone rings)
Candy: Hello?

Sam: Hey, babe! It's me. Just callin' to see what you're doing tonight. Wanna go out?

Candy: Wait a sec...(tweets this call)...check me out on Twitter. I just twatted you (giggles).

Sam: Uhhh...I'm driving right now...I'm not at a computer.

Candy: Oh that's ok. Check it out when you get home. Seeya (CLICK).

Sam: What the f...?! I gotta dump that Goddamn, tweetfreak!

by Tenacious Faulker May 2, 2009

Ken Doll

1) A meek or mild mannered man; a wuss, acting like you have no balls; no guts; no spine.
2) A poorly hung male remenicent of a Ken doll.
3) A male, overly attactive or primped, superficial, possibly straight, gay, bi or metrosexual. Also remenicent of a Ken Doll.

1) Clay is such a wuss that he never takes any risks or stands up for himself. What a Ken Doll.
Howard Stern admits he's hung like a Ken Doll
3) David Hasslehoff is an over the hill Ken Doll.

by Tenacious Faulker February 6, 2009

gridirony

When the quarterback of your fantasy football team throws a huge touchdown pass to your opponent's wide receiver.

(watching the game on TV)
C'mon, Manning! Throw us a touchdown this play! Dropping back!...throws!...yes, yes!, YES!!... NOOOO!!! Not to Reggie Wayne! Anyone but Wayne! Awwww, man! Touchdown! Dammit!!

Dude! WTF! We're winning!

Yeah, I know but my fanatasy team isn't and I needed that play to win. My opponent has Wayne and just got the same points.

Man! Talk about your gridirony!

by Tenacious Faulker June 23, 2010

three finger proctological exam

Anything or anyone that's a HUGE pain in the ass.

To suck and blow simultaneously.

This weekend my boss is making redo this month's TPS report. What a huge three finger protological exam that's going to be!

Having Jerry around is like having a constant three finger proctological exam!

by Tenacious Faulker April 14, 2009

fight capades

1) Fighting on ice, e.g. professional hockey.

2) A hockey game that has an inordinate amount of fights either throughout the game or simultaneously as in a bench-clearing brawl.

Fan 1: "Did you watch the Stanley Cup finals between the Penguins and the Redwings? Talbot fought Lindstrom, Fleury fought, Osgood fought Ericcson, Ericcson fought Talbot..."

Fan 2: "Oh, you mean the fight capades. Yeah, the Pens kicked their asses!"

by Tenacious Faulker June 23, 2009