Definitions by Tenacious Faulker

val 

SoCal/surfer term meaning lame, heinous, harsh or shitty. A reference to outsider surfers from San Fernando Valley, which to them, is the source of all things sucky. Valley dwellers are typically hated by LA beach locals hated for invading the locals' beaches, sealing waves, posing, and flaunting their parents money.

Surfer dude: Hey, babe! Lookin' tasty today. Wanna meet me under the pier and ride my short board?

Surfer chick: Asshole! Not if you were the last wave in Santa Monica!

Surfer dude: Whoa! That was val!

val by Tenacious Faulker April 15, 2009

three finger proctological exam 

Anything or anyone that's a HUGE pain in the ass.

To suck and blow simultaneously.

This weekend my boss is making redo this month's TPS report. What a huge three finger protological exam that's going to be!

Having Jerry around is like having a constant three finger proctological exam!

three finger proctological exam by Tenacious Faulker April 14, 2009

face off 

(v.) A hockey metaphor meaning to compete; to face an adverary; to confront.

Ugh! My performance review is today and I have to face off with my boss!

face off by Tenacious Faulker April 5, 2009

throw my hat 

To throw one's hat in (as "in the ring") is to:
1) to challenge or contend for something.

2) nominate someone or oneself for something. To volunteer.

A boxing metaphor that originated in the early 19th century when one who wished to challenge a boxer would throw his hat into the ring as a way of having your challenge noticed in a crowded ring.

In 1912 Theodore Roosevelt, who was an advid boxer, was the first presidential candidate to use "throw my hat in the ring" to announce his run at the U.S. presidency.

throw my hat by Tenacious Faulker April 5, 2009

jersey girl 

A state of mind bred into the minds of any caucasian female of any socio-economic class residing in America's armpit, New Jersey. The attitude combines the airheadedness of a blond, the foul mouth of a Quentin Tarantino movie, the self-centeredness of a mafia don's wife and the pathetic, materialistic shallowness and faux-classiness of Paris Hilton. While this attitude is prolific in this region not all females behave in such a way as the Jersey Girl's attitude, being parasitic in nature, must suck the life of other normal people by means of scorning, tormenting and demeaning in order to boost their own, hidden, low self-esteem, self-loathing and jealousy from not actually being born a Manhattanite.

Subcategories of the Jersey Girl genus are:
1) Italian: Guidette
2) Jewish: JAP
3) Anglo: White Trash

Jersey Girl's aren't trashy. Trash, at least, gets picked up.

Tara Reid is a classic Jersey Girl

jersey girl by Tenacious Faulker April 4, 2009

Billy Bass 

The stupid, singing, rubber bass that you mount to your double-wide's porch next to your family's favorite pastime, the bug-zapper.

Jeb Bush: George, did the tax-payers foot the bill for that Bill Blass you have on?

George Bush: It's really called a Big Mouth Billy Bass, Jeb, and Cheney gave it to me last year.
Jeb Bush: I'm talking about your suit, you damn moron!

George Bush: Oh. Sorry. Can we just watch the bug-zapper on the West Lawn.

Billy Bass by Tenacious Faulker April 2, 2009

legendary 

Intensifier added to any word to take it's meaning to its highest power imaginable.

Win: Legendary win

Fail: Legendary fail

Kill: Legendary kill

Awesomeness: Legendary awesomeness

The Dude: The Legendary Dude

Dog's balls: Legendary Dog's balls

Weed: Legendary weed

pwned: Legendary pwned

Sex: Lengendary sex

Get it?

legendary by Tenacious Faulker April 1, 2009