The tendency for conservatives to think largely in terms of black and white for every single issue on the planet. Mostly a result of an absolutist religious upbringing, I believe.
An example,
Bob, a 43 year old loving father of two, with a spotless criminal record, assaults a sixteen year old girl. Everyone is shocked and puzzled. When caught, he has a nervous breakdown and is put in a mental institution. There, he undergoes various tests and scans. Doctors discover a giant tumor in the part of the brain responsible for sexual activities.
They remove it via surgery, and he's back to normal again. There's no doubt about it - from similar cases we can see that tumors in that part of the brain drive normal men crazy. What to do?
An example,
Bob, a 43 year old loving father of two, with a spotless criminal record, assaults a sixteen year old girl. Everyone is shocked and puzzled. When caught, he has a nervous breakdown and is put in a mental institution. There, he undergoes various tests and scans. Doctors discover a giant tumor in the part of the brain responsible for sexual activities.
They remove it via surgery, and he's back to normal again. There's no doubt about it - from similar cases we can see that tumors in that part of the brain drive normal men crazy. What to do?
Liberal: After having considered all the evidence, I don't see any point in incarcerating him. He's not a threat. I fucking hate worthless child molesters but he clearly can't be held responsible for this. Probation should do, just in case I'm wrong. (though i doubt it)
Moderate: The science involved certainly seems to indicate that he's not responsible for this disgusting deed. Given his prior record, he doesn't seem like a threat. Still, I'm not totally convinced. A year in prison maybe? More testing, in any case.
Conservative: Why the fuck are we even talking about this? Tumors don't do anything anyway, that's just a THEORY! Has everyone lost their fucking mind, he attacked a helpless child! Stone him to death! Oh wait, I forgot that we don't live in Afghanistan or Iran. Well in that case, give 'im the lethal injection. Shit, that's not allowed for non-murderers? SHIT! I swear, liberals are bleeding this fucking country dry! DEATH TO LIBERALS!!! *waves rebel flag*
Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder is a major problem in the US, sadly. Mostly as a result of religious faith.
For another example, see black and white thinkers.
Moderate: The science involved certainly seems to indicate that he's not responsible for this disgusting deed. Given his prior record, he doesn't seem like a threat. Still, I'm not totally convinced. A year in prison maybe? More testing, in any case.
Conservative: Why the fuck are we even talking about this? Tumors don't do anything anyway, that's just a THEORY! Has everyone lost their fucking mind, he attacked a helpless child! Stone him to death! Oh wait, I forgot that we don't live in Afghanistan or Iran. Well in that case, give 'im the lethal injection. Shit, that's not allowed for non-murderers? SHIT! I swear, liberals are bleeding this fucking country dry! DEATH TO LIBERALS!!! *waves rebel flag*
Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder is a major problem in the US, sadly. Mostly as a result of religious faith.
For another example, see black and white thinkers.
by Submitters of Words June 14, 2011
Similar to the "Just keep swimming" mantra from Finding Nemo, except this applies to.. you guessed it, the caressing of the male organ.
"Just keep stroking, just keep stroking..." is nice to remember when you're in a rut and can't get any.
by Submitters of Words June 26, 2011
Contrary to popular conservative belief, political correctness is not a solely left-wing phenomenon.
politically correct (conservative)
Examples of conservative correctness:
frankfurters became "hot dogs" during world war I
french fries became freedom fries in 2003
David Horowitz's "Academic Bill of Rights"
attempts to "teach the controversy" by creationists in biology courses, and global warming deniers in environmental science courses
Any number of campaigns against plays or films, such as Life of Brian or Jesus Christ Superstar, on the grounds that they are "offensive to Christians;" conservative Catholic groups are particularly fond of this tactic
Encouragement of anti-gay activists to eschew the words "gay" and "homosexual" in favor of such phrases as "unnatural vice" and "anti-Christian"
Global warming deniers whining about being called "deniers." They prefer the term "skeptic."
"Enhanced interrogation techniques"
"Homicide bombing"
Atheist billboards are seen as insensitive to Christians.
Republicans changing the names of committees in the House of Representatives to change "labor" to "workforce" and remove any mention of "civil rights"
Free speech zones
The Dixie Chicks causing controversy by criticizing George Bush
ward churchill getting blasted to high heavens for insulting innocent americans (although this was definitely justified)
The whole fox news "war on christmas" nonsense
Conservatives
are just as PC as liberals!
Examples of conservative correctness:
frankfurters became "hot dogs" during world war I
french fries became freedom fries in 2003
David Horowitz's "Academic Bill of Rights"
attempts to "teach the controversy" by creationists in biology courses, and global warming deniers in environmental science courses
Any number of campaigns against plays or films, such as Life of Brian or Jesus Christ Superstar, on the grounds that they are "offensive to Christians;" conservative Catholic groups are particularly fond of this tactic
Encouragement of anti-gay activists to eschew the words "gay" and "homosexual" in favor of such phrases as "unnatural vice" and "anti-Christian"
Global warming deniers whining about being called "deniers." They prefer the term "skeptic."
"Enhanced interrogation techniques"
"Homicide bombing"
Atheist billboards are seen as insensitive to Christians.
Republicans changing the names of committees in the House of Representatives to change "labor" to "workforce" and remove any mention of "civil rights"
Free speech zones
The Dixie Chicks causing controversy by criticizing George Bush
ward churchill getting blasted to high heavens for insulting innocent americans (although this was definitely justified)
The whole fox news "war on christmas" nonsense
Conservatives
are just as PC as liberals!
by Submitters of Words June 10, 2011
Contrary to popular conservative belief, political correctness is not a solely left-wing phenomenon.
Examples of conservative correctness:
frankfurters became "hot dogs" during world war I
french fries became freedom fries in 2003
David Horowitz's "Academic Bill of Rights"
attempts to "teach the controversy" by creationists in biology courses, and global warming deniers in environmental science courses
Any number of campaigns against plays or films, such as Life of Brian or Jesus Christ Superstar, on the grounds that they are "offensive to Christians;" conservative Catholic groups are particularly fond of this tactic
Encouragement of anti-gay activists to eschew the words "gay" and "homosexual" in favor of such phrases as "unnatural vice" and "anti-Christian"
Global warming deniers whining about being called "deniers." They prefer the term "skeptic."
"Enhanced interrogation techniques"
"Homicide bombing"
Atheist billboards are seen as insensitive to Christians.
Republicans changing the names of committees in the House of Representatives to change "labor" to "workforce" and remove any mention of "civil rights"
Free speech zones
The Dixie Chicks causing controversy by criticizing George Bush
ward churchill getting blasted to high heavens for insulting innocent americans (although this was definitely justified)
The whole fox news "war on christmas" nonsense
Conservatives are just as PC as liberals!
frankfurters became "hot dogs" during world war I
french fries became freedom fries in 2003
David Horowitz's "Academic Bill of Rights"
attempts to "teach the controversy" by creationists in biology courses, and global warming deniers in environmental science courses
Any number of campaigns against plays or films, such as Life of Brian or Jesus Christ Superstar, on the grounds that they are "offensive to Christians;" conservative Catholic groups are particularly fond of this tactic
Encouragement of anti-gay activists to eschew the words "gay" and "homosexual" in favor of such phrases as "unnatural vice" and "anti-Christian"
Global warming deniers whining about being called "deniers." They prefer the term "skeptic."
"Enhanced interrogation techniques"
"Homicide bombing"
Atheist billboards are seen as insensitive to Christians.
Republicans changing the names of committees in the House of Representatives to change "labor" to "workforce" and remove any mention of "civil rights"
Free speech zones
The Dixie Chicks causing controversy by criticizing George Bush
ward churchill getting blasted to high heavens for insulting innocent americans (although this was definitely justified)
The whole fox news "war on christmas" nonsense
Conservatives are just as PC as liberals!
by Submitters of Words June 10, 2011
You'd think Americans would learn from their previous mistakes, but that's asking too much isn't it?
Rick Perry is Dubya 2.0
Rick Perry is Dubya 2.0
by Submitters of Words September 08, 2011
Usually what lying quacks (as if there's any other kind) will tell you in an attempt to trick you into buying their bullshit
by Submitters of Words June 26, 2011
Another one of those antigovernment extremist morons, he wants to gut every social program on the planet and privatize everything so some big ass corporations can step all over us even more than they can now
Grover Norquist wants to shift the tax burden to the middle class even more, resulting in an ever-increasing gap between the rich and poor.
by Submitters of Words August 02, 2011