Squid Wrangler's definitions

John Fonda

A term used to smear a bonafide war hero who, contrary to what the fuhrer would like his flock to believe, was indifferent to the whole hippie movement and wasn't even very close to Jane Fonda at all. Also a term used to describe someone whose actual records and actions, although confirmed by the navy and readily on display on their campaign site, is endlessly contradicted by a bunch of people who weren't even there and villified by others who are too lazy to check for themselves (see Bush voter). Anyone who suffers reputational losses due to slander.

Although the surveillance tape clearly showed Tommy taking the first swing, Andy ended up being the John Fonda and was suspended for fighting.

by Squid Wrangler March 28, 2005

Liberal Media

The red herring to end all red herrings.

"Breaking News tonight as the GOP has called for deregulation of the straw man industry..."

by Squid Wrangler May 10, 2005

Bang Bus

Fake, totally unintersesting porn site that has become extremely popular in some bizarre, metaphysical manner. Often credited with single-handedly starting the God-awful trend of "reality" porn sites. Follows the adventures of a handful of bad actors and general wankers employed by porn juggernaut Ox Entertainment. Can typically be seen in and around South Florida paying fat, used-up, coke-shooting skanks $700 to ride around in a van and get reamed by one of the ugly freaks of nature that resides therein. Even then, if you dare conjure up any semblence of an erection, it's usually quelled by a certain wheezing, giggling, cackling, totally obnoxious bastard going by the name of Dirty Sanchez. Very little is known about this mysterious individual, other than the fact that he insists on cracking bad jokes the entire time and seems to get off on random, amateurish zooming and panning. A bunch of equally stupid and low-quality porn sites that feature many of the same girls along with the same lame-brained actors are included as extras for those deluded enough to actually buy a subscription to this shitopia. Even worse than Milf Hunter.

"Hey baby gurrrr hahahahaha wanna like ga hahahaha like come ride with us? Hahahaha, dude, dude, dude!!"
-Dirty Sanchez

by Squid Wrangler March 24, 2005

Publius Enigma

One of the most bizarre and mysterious publicity stunts/hoaxes/practical jokes ever put on in rock history. In short, a series of odd messages started showing up on alt.music.pink-floyd around the time "The Division Bell" and the subsequent tour was launched. The poster, going by the name of Publius, claimed that he had a message to convey from Pink Floyd that tied in with the central themes from their newest album. People began assuming that he was actually in some way associated with the band rather than a prankster or joker, although skeptics abounded. It became apparent that the poster was the genuine article when he announced a light display that would be seen during the band's stop in East Rutherford, New Jersey on July 18 of that year. Surely enough, "Enigma Publius" was seen in a light display during "Keep Talking" that night. Plenty of other displays would follow, all predicted by Publius. The words "Publius" and "Enigma" would actually show up in the light displays during shows a few more times, including an occasion captured on the "PULSE" video. The band denied having any pre-knowledge of these events, while lighting director Mark Brickman only said that he was told to do certain things to the lights otherwise he would lose his job.

Things became stranger yet as the words "Enigma" and "Publius" showed up in tiny print on the "Momentary Lapse of Reason" mini-discs released in 1994. There are numerous other odd happenings associated with the Publius Enigma that continued until April 5, 1997. The actual identity of the poster and his relationship, if any, with Pink Floyd and/or its management remains a mystery to this day. The Pink Floyd and Co. website maintains all of the original posts and provides a much more detailed history of the Enigma Publius in the "Us and Them" section of the site.

The Publius Enigma was a chain of events lasting roughly three years.

by Squid Wrangler April 23, 2005

lewis black

Jewish comic who makes a living by screaming his head off about things that everyone already knows anyway. Lewis Black is occasionally very funny and thought-provoking in his approach but some of his jokes miss the mark and his angry persona wears off on a viewer over time. His piece on the Daily Show far outshines his stand-up specials because they're just long enough to be entertaining without being grating. Can best be thought of as a stand-up version of Maddox. A tad overrated in many of the same areas as the late Mitch Hedberg.

Although I prefer his segments on the Daily Show, Lewis Black's best stand-up effort in my opinion is "The End."

by Squid Wrangler April 12, 2005

Patriots

The recipients of a long-deserved ass kicking from the Carolina Panthers last Sunday. 27-17. The NFL's so-called greatest quarterback was sacked twice and picked off by the league's best defense while their rushing game was held back to sub-40 yards. The sheer joy of seeing Tom Brady weeping like a little girl on the sidelines as the fourth quarter wound down was almost overwhelming.

Steve Smith, Stephen Davis, Ricky Proehl, Julius Peppers, Mike Rucker, Will Witherspoon, and Ken Lucas owned the Patriots.

by Squid Wrangler December 28, 2005

Iran

Next stop on the Bush/Cheney war bus.

Want to see the future? Take any speech about foreign policy Bush made in late 2002/early 2003 and replace "Iraq" with "Iran".

by Squid Wrangler May 14, 2005