29 definitions by Squid Wrangler

Arctic National Wildlife Refuge; recently opened for oil drilling with the full support of the Republican majority in the Senate. An area from which 60% of the oil excavated will be exported to other nations rather than, as the Republicans are selling it, used as "a first step towards energy independence". The United States Geological Survey has found that the accurate amount of usable oil to be found in ANWR is roughly 3.2 billion barrels, or a six-month supply if 100% of this oil was to be used domestically, which it won't be. This figure varies startlingly with the severely faulty figure of 16 billion barrels that pro-drilling Alaskan Senator Murkowski frequently mentions. The amount of wildlife found in the area and the myriad ways in which the region will be damaged by oil drilling are played down as much as possible by Republicans and others in favor of drilling, although numerous studies and reports have found that the area would be irreversibly affected by such drilling. Populations of Caribou and fish that native tribes such as the Gwich'in rely on for food and other practical purposes would be dented considerably. A piece of land that was to go untainted by the malicious grope of corporate greed until the GOP took power once more.
"Good steward of the land" my ass, Mr. Bush.
by Squid Wrangler April 23, 2005
A term used to smear a bonafide war hero who, contrary to what the fuhrer would like his flock to believe, was indifferent to the whole hippie movement and wasn't even very close to Jane Fonda at all. Also a term used to describe someone whose actual records and actions, although confirmed by the navy and readily on display on their campaign site, is endlessly contradicted by a bunch of people who weren't even there and villified by others who are too lazy to check for themselves (see Bush voter). Anyone who suffers reputational losses due to slander.
Although the surveillance tape clearly showed Tommy taking the first swing, Andy ended up being the John Fonda and was suspended for fighting.
by Squid Wrangler March 28, 2005
The red herring to end all red herrings.
"Breaking News tonight as the GOP has called for deregulation of the straw man industry..."
by Squid Wrangler May 10, 2005
A right-wing blog run by Jesse and John, two psychopaths with a bizarre love for the Bush administration and complete, cess-ridden hatred for the left. One of the main draws of the site is the fact that Jesse is 15 years old and has parents that seemingly don't mind their son publishing slanderous and outright threatening tirades on the internet. His age definitely shines through as his articles are usually rife with spelling and grammar errors while typically sporting an extremely juvenile and immature tone throughout them.

The Jesse Factor usually features baseless and extremely vulgar attacks against liberals and Democrats that often fall apart once further analyzed. In one memorable entry, John claimed that there is much more oil in Alaska than there is in Iraq and as such, oil could not have been among the reasons to spark that particular conflict. A quick visit to the Energy Information Administration website, a branch of the US Department of Energy, proved him to be almost pitifully wrong. Not only that, the number he used to describe the amount of oil in Alaska (16 billion barrels) is the most optimistic one available, frequently contradicted by many experts, and a number often cited by a pro-drilling Alaskan senator alone.

They often do not include sources for their most controversial and damning assertions (stating that the Kerry family bought $500,000 in Halliburton stock, for instance) and usually resort to ad hominem attacks along with homophobic slurs to take up space in their rants. The writing often resembles that of a third-tier Maddox ripoff rather than the biting social and political commentary they were no doubt aiming for.

The Jesse Factor is more or less an extremely annoying variant of what is becoming a run-of-the mill internet presence: crazy assholes who think they know everything publishing their half-coherent drivel for everyone to see.
"I heard that Jesse of the Jesse Factor is a Libertarian. Well excuse me all to hell for being a Democrat, looks like this kid sides with the real winners."
by Squid Wrangler March 21, 2005
Conservative rallying cry that has little to no basis in history or reality for that matter as stated. If by "nothing" you mean that Bill Clinton never dragged us into the kind of disaster George W. Bush did with his poorly-planned and executed mega-quagmire, then you'd be right on the money. However, if by "nothing" you mean the time his anti-terror legislation (Omnibus Anti-Terrorism Act of 1995) was cock-blocked by the GOP-controlled Congress, when his assertions that Al-Quaeda in general and Osama Bin Laden in particular were serious threats were balked at by many Republicans, when his proposal to create a department dealing primarily with homeland security was rejected, and when his warnings that Islamic extremism was going to be the new threat of our age were ignored, then you've probably been paying more attention than most of America.
Bill Clinton's anti-terror and homeland defense ideas weren't ahead of their time as much as they were shot down due to partisan bullshit from Republicans. And Democrats are supposed to be the obstructionists?
by Squid Wrangler July 30, 2005
Among the cheapest bosses in the history of fighting games.
The incarnation of Shao Kahn that appears in Mortal Kombat III is virtually undefeatable without exploiting bugs in the A.I. of the game.
by Squid Wrangler April 14, 2005
A group of people who believe in every part of the Second Amendment except for the portion describing the right of citizens to bear arms as a "well-regulated militia"...particularly the "well regulated" part. Can frequently be seen indiscriminately bashing any and all attempts at rudimentary/sane gun control legislation despite living in a nation with the highest rate of gun-related deaths in the world. Despite their tremendous advocacy of the Second Amendment, the NRA's often unflinching support of George W. Bush and the modern-day Republican party seems to betray any sort of interest they may have implied having in upholding the rest of the Bill of Rights.
Most NRA members would use the Second Amendment to stop what they deem as overuse of the first Amendment by them fast-talkin' liberal hippies if they could get away with it.
by Squid Wrangler April 09, 2005

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