Squid Wrangler's definitions
Do you like D-list celebrities and small-time comics who couldn't even sell out the dive bar down the street? Do you like unfunny quips made by people so far under the radar that nobody cares what they think anyway? Do you need a one-stop resource for any and all news about Paris Hilton's week? "Best Week Ever" just might be for you, idiot.
by Squid Wrangler May 3, 2005
Get the Best Week Evermug. The recipients of a long-deserved ass kicking from the Carolina Panthers last Sunday. 27-17. The NFL's so-called greatest quarterback was sacked twice and picked off by the league's best defense while their rushing game was held back to sub-40 yards. The sheer joy of seeing Tom Brady weeping like a little girl on the sidelines as the fourth quarter wound down was almost overwhelming.
Steve Smith, Stephen Davis, Ricky Proehl, Julius Peppers, Mike Rucker, Will Witherspoon, and Ken Lucas owned the Patriots.
by Squid Wrangler December 28, 2005
Get the Patriotsmug. The incarnation of Shao Kahn that appears in Mortal Kombat III is virtually undefeatable without exploiting bugs in the A.I. of the game.
by Squid Wrangler April 14, 2005
Get the Shao Kahnmug. One time, I broke into a skater's house and put wax all over his TV and furniture. He was really mad, even after i told him it would slide better now. Skate and create, man!
by Squid Wrangler March 24, 2005
Get the Skateboardingmug. A member of the tremendous battalion of lame New Jersey post-hardcore/power pop/blargh/pseudo-genre bending radio-friendly over-produced bands that have recently broken into the American mainstream in an unexpected manner. One of the many bands who are worshipped by legions of former preps who now wear studded belts, Chuck Taylors, and check their Myspace account every six minutes. Fans of My Chemical Romance are usually in-between everything. They're too "refined" to like Linkin Park, Korn, and other ultra-mainstream angst-peddlers but too dense and flat to really do much more than haphazardly dabble in bands that are somewhat more challenging to get into, such as pre-"Dark Side of the Moon" Pink Floyd and Sonic Youth.
My Chemical Romance is mainly at home in combining the sad-sack tendencies of emo lyrics and the overbearing self-absorption found therein (yes I know they're not emo you fucking idiots, emo is a very specific style of music that for all practical purposes has been dead for a few years. But you're truly a moron if you don't think they at least borrow some elements of that genre) with the overdone theatrics of prog rock and metal while having absolutely none of the virtuosity associated with those genres. Makes use of the same limp musicianship that is present in every other generic "dynamic" or "emotional" (short for "not really good at anything") rock band currently making 16 year old girls with glasses and acne cream their pants across the country.
Speaking of their lyrics, this band is nothing special when compared to their peers while absolutely awful compared to somewhat decent bands. One of the "good songs" another person mentioned in another definition contains the following lyrics:
" And if they get me and the sun goes down into the ground
And if they get me take this spike to my heart and
And if they get me and the sun goes down
And if they get me take this spike and
You put the spike in my heart
And if the sun comes up will it tear the skin right off our bones
And then as razor sharp white teeth rip out our necks I saw you there
Someone call the doctor, someone get me to a church
Where they can pump this venom gaping hole
And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat
And if they come and get me
You put the spike in my heart"
Good God. Nothing but lame, weak metaphors about hearts, souls, secrets, gaping holes in all three, and other asinine, pretentious bullshit that is showcased in most songs in this God-forsaken genre. Overblown, meandering pablum that doesn't really even mean anything.
My Chemical Romance is mainly at home in combining the sad-sack tendencies of emo lyrics and the overbearing self-absorption found therein (yes I know they're not emo you fucking idiots, emo is a very specific style of music that for all practical purposes has been dead for a few years. But you're truly a moron if you don't think they at least borrow some elements of that genre) with the overdone theatrics of prog rock and metal while having absolutely none of the virtuosity associated with those genres. Makes use of the same limp musicianship that is present in every other generic "dynamic" or "emotional" (short for "not really good at anything") rock band currently making 16 year old girls with glasses and acne cream their pants across the country.
Speaking of their lyrics, this band is nothing special when compared to their peers while absolutely awful compared to somewhat decent bands. One of the "good songs" another person mentioned in another definition contains the following lyrics:
" And if they get me and the sun goes down into the ground
And if they get me take this spike to my heart and
And if they get me and the sun goes down
And if they get me take this spike and
You put the spike in my heart
And if the sun comes up will it tear the skin right off our bones
And then as razor sharp white teeth rip out our necks I saw you there
Someone call the doctor, someone get me to a church
Where they can pump this venom gaping hole
And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat
And if they come and get me
You put the spike in my heart"
Good God. Nothing but lame, weak metaphors about hearts, souls, secrets, gaping holes in all three, and other asinine, pretentious bullshit that is showcased in most songs in this God-forsaken genre. Overblown, meandering pablum that doesn't really even mean anything.
by Squid Wrangler May 13, 2005
Get the My Chemical Romancemug. A rock band that continues to frustrate pompous critics by actually living up to the hype. The White Stripes have always produced quality records, but in recent years have released three classics in a row ("White Blood Cells", "Elephant", and the newest, "Get Behind Me Satan").
"Red Rain", "My Doorbell", and "Take, Take, Take". Three great tracks off the newest record by The White Stripes. If you think those songs suck, you don't like rock music. Period.
by Squid Wrangler December 28, 2005
Get the The White Stripesmug. Arctic National Wildlife Refuge; recently opened for oil drilling with the full support of the Republican majority in the Senate. An area from which 60% of the oil excavated will be exported to other nations rather than, as the Republicans are selling it, used as "a first step towards energy independence". The United States Geological Survey has found that the accurate amount of usable oil to be found in ANWR is roughly 3.2 billion barrels, or a six-month supply if 100% of this oil was to be used domestically, which it won't be. This figure varies startlingly with the severely faulty figure of 16 billion barrels that pro-drilling Alaskan Senator Murkowski frequently mentions. The amount of wildlife found in the area and the myriad ways in which the region will be damaged by oil drilling are played down as much as possible by Republicans and others in favor of drilling, although numerous studies and reports have found that the area would be irreversibly affected by such drilling. Populations of Caribou and fish that native tribes such as the Gwich'in rely on for food and other practical purposes would be dented considerably. A piece of land that was to go untainted by the malicious grope of corporate greed until the GOP took power once more.
by Squid Wrangler April 23, 2005
Get the anwrmug.