Spanks Johnson's definitions

galosh

A latex device to keep you from a) getting that greasy skank pregnant b) getting crotch crickets from the greasy skank.

Just before I stuck my stanky hang down in the greasy skank, I put on a galosh.

by Spanks Johnson July 8, 2006

Testickler

The type of goatee-type beard grown specifically by those who want to hide their true sexual orientation, which would be that of homosexual. Meant to give the recipient of oral sex by the grower of the testickler a tickling sensation on their scrotum.

"Look, those bikers over there all are sporting testicklers!"

- Dead guy

by Spanks Johnson February 29, 2012

Lirpa Sloof

Whereas the defecation is unartistically left in a lump as in a Cleveland Steamer. With the Lirpa Sloof variation, the deposit is made unto a ring shape. The Lirpa Sloof variation shows the recipient that you have class and muscle control.

Sarah, calling out to her roomate says "Hey, come see this Lirpa Sloof on my chest, that random guy I slept with last night really was classy!"

"Yeah, and the it's a perfect circle too, he sure has great muscle control!"

"Yeah", Sarah sighs, "I think I'm in love."

by Spanks Johnson April 3, 2008

Quadrasexual

A quadrasexual is somebody who will do anything, with anyone, for a 25 cents.

You'll never become wealthy as a quadrasexual. "Wanna bet" was Skip's response as he was handed 50 cents from two clients he had recently simultaneously fellated.

by Spanks Johnson April 21, 2020

Testickler

a small beard, usually found on the douchiest of douchebags, like a goatee, but grown with the idea to provide pleasure to thier partners scrotum during oral sex.

Butch: I really appreciate you growing a testickler for me, Craig!
Craig: no problem, and what nice about it is that the more of your man goo that dribbles on it, the softer it becomes!
Butch: It looks like it's getting split ends?
Craig: Lets fix that up right now, zip, slurp, nom, nom, nom.

by Spanks Johnson February 4, 2012

Cheesy Scrod

A woman who is no longer, or never was, desireable. Usually used to describe your friends ex. Derived from a Florida restuarant sign advertising the special of the day "Cheesy Scrod $10.99".

"Man, that bitch you were with was such a cheesy scrod."

by Spanks Johnson October 2, 2005

Oxy-moron

See "Billy Mays" of TV's Oxyclean fame.

Oh, and what's with that beard?

KABOOM! Billy Mays is a Oxy-moron!

by Spanks Johnson October 25, 2006