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Souper Rare's definitions

Woke Fordian

A person who believes that any ideological view is acceptable as long as it does not differ from their own.

It is derived from Henry Ford's quote "any customer can have a car painted any colour he wants, as long as its black".

Woke Fordian's exist at all points on the political spectrum and are typically inflexible to views that do not align with their own. In the extreme, this can lead to all sorts of malicious action being inflicted by people who hold different ideological views than the person they are targeting.
Guy 1: "Sandra just screeched at me because I said I didn't believe in universal health care. Guy 2: "What? Really?"
Guy 1: "Yeah, she kept shouting that I was wrong and that I shouldn't be allowed to share my opinion anymore"
Guy 2: "Wow, I had no idea she was a Woke Fordian"
by Souper Rare January 8, 2022
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T-Shirt Communist

A name given to anyone who professes to be a communist whilst wearing or using items manufactured by capitalist industry. It is often typified by wearing T shirts with Che Guevara's face on or posting to YouTube premium using a $3000 mac whilst sipping on a venti machiatto from Starbucks. Other similar behaviours exist.

Ironically, they believe you shouldn't have to starve for your principles and so they once again project the fruits of capitalism (a full plate) whilst claiming to be communist (starving on literally anything).
Guy 1: "Hey, man. Check out Michelle's shirt. It has a sickle and star"
Guy 2: "Wow, that's an odd design for a $500 Dior t-shirt"
Guy 1: "Yeah, she's a total T-shirt Communist"
by Souper Rare January 5, 2022
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Spunky Box

A disease that emerged during 2022 and was declared a global health emergency by the world health organisation.

The disease is transmitted through direct rectal injection by an infected person. Under no circumstances should you allow anyone to cream your pie, or you will fall victim to the disease.

Symptoms include warts, fatigue, rectal leakage, fistula, ape like vocalisations etc.

There is no cure for this disease. Ensuring you don't have vaginal or anal sex with random/infected people will reduce transmission.

Scientists are advising everyone unmarried to engage in "sexual distancing" which should be maintained at all times (minimum of a 6 inch gap between people). If people do need to get closer, a penis mask (condom) should be worn to reduce the spread of infected droplets.
Bill: "Why do you insist I wear a condom?"
Jeff: "Because, having a spunky box will be 9000 times worse than covid-19"
by Souper Rare July 23, 2022
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Woke Privilege

A form of privilege that is extended to those who hold the "correct" views about all things societal, economic, scientific and political.

These correct views are determined by the major institutions. When governments, major corporations, mass media and entertainment, universities etc. all support your viewpoint (regardless as to whether it is rooted in reality or not) you have woke privilege. These viewpoints are typically perpetuated by intersectional Frankensteins and usually result in the creation of many Wokenstein's Monsters.

Conversely, if you hold views that are different to the woke gospel (regardless as to whether they are rooted in reality or not) then you will be cancelled for merely having a different viewpoint and are not considered to have woke privilege (however, you will likely be accused of having every other kind of privilege in an attempt to discredit you). This is because those with Woke privilege are typically woke Fordians.
Joe: " Hey man, did you know that *insert woke opinion here* is so great?"
Mama: "Jesus Joe, who has been filling your head with this nonsense?"
Joe: *screeches and points* "this one's not one of us!"
Mama: "well, it looks like my viewpoint is cancelled because I don't have woke privilege"
by Souper Rare July 14, 2022
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Tiananmen Cube Massacre

An event that definitely did not happen in China on June 4th, 1989... but in 3D.
Guy 1: "Hey buddy, did you ever hear about the Tiananmen Cube Massacre?"
Guy 2: "reply has been redacted by the benevolent and supreme leader XI"
Guy 1: "Yeah, I didn't think so either."
by Souper Rare January 4, 2022
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Real Communism

A form of government that has never been implemented in all of human history.

All governments that have claimed to be communist, were led by communists and have functioned in a manner consistent with communist idealology were not real communist governments.

This is because they invariably fail (typically in a truly dramatic fashion) and in a true communist society, no one is allowed to fail (except the grain harvest).

This results in a form of communist duality, whereby a state is only communist when it is successful and is retroactively stripped of the label when it ultimately fails. These failures are usually explained away as being the result of intervention from foreign capitalists, the CIA or any other bogeyman that deflects from the absolute failure of the communist state. These deflections are usually an example of Stalin's law.
Guy 1: "Hey, did you hear Venuzuela collapsed? Typical communist government"
Guy 2: "Venuzuela wasn't real communism."
Guy 1: "Remind me, what is real communism?"
Guy 2: *error 404*
by Souper Rare January 7, 2022
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Stalin's Law

Arguments defending communism (and to a lesser extent socialism) on the internet inevitably deflect from inherent and observable failures of both ideologies.

Deflections often (but not always) involve promises of absolute success in the next society they are inflicted upon, claiming that any service funded by taxation is an example of its success (conflation of tax with either ideology) or by downplaying truly awful historical events committed by communist regimes (e.g. the Holodomor). Other examples of deflection exist.

It is most frequently observed among people who have no experience of living under a communist regime. These people are often t-shirt communists.
Guy 1: "I know fascism is bad, but just look at the millions who have died under communist regimes"
Guy 2: "Nah man, real communism hasn't been tried. All those dictatorships were red fascism or were funded by the CIA. It'll definitely work in the next country it's tried in."
Guy 1: "Dude, that's literally Stalin's law. Stop defending brutal communist regimes"
by Souper Rare January 6, 2022
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