Solid Mantis's definitions

Once you go black you never go back

Hopefully you don't base a decision on whether you're attracted to somebody on what they look like on the surface alone. It's a little bit weird to date only people who don't look like you because they don't look like you and for no other reason.

Dewey Cox's first wife- You can't be married to more than one person at the same time Dewey, neither can I, that's why I'm with Leroy now. Once you go black you never go back.
Dewey Cox- (to Edith) Edith wait! (to Darlene) It's okay, she's gone now, and she ain't coming back. This will make everybody involved happier I think.

by Solid Mantis March 14, 2021

Axe murderer

When are you gonna figure out you're married to one?

Woman in counseling-So, I married an axe murderer?

Shrink-I'm surprised you're able to ask, especially since you're planning on going home after you leave here. They don't have medicine for people like you ma'am, good day to you.

by Solid Mantis November 11, 2016

Sonic the hedgehog

There was a time sonic the hedgehog was an impressive game. Most people couldnt find better graphics in a video game. Nowadays, it seems like every video game console tries to outdo the next to the point that it's silly, people seem to need the false sense of satisfaction they get from a video game with 3D graphics and one that seems real, even though theres nothing realistic about video games in the first place, there never was.

Kid- Have you ever seen a blue hedgehog do this shit before?
Kid's friend- No, never. That's close to teleportation, I've only seen that on TV before today. What the fuck is this sonic the hedgehog shit?

by Solid Mantis August 28, 2020

Mental midget

You see a movie about a serial killer who thinks he's ugly or disfigured, but never a movie about a guy who's not short, but is convinced he's a midget. A guy with a napoleon complex that shouldn't be there.

The yellow dragon was a mental midget who preyed on tall people even though he wasn't short. He also was convinced he was a coward.

by Solid Mantis August 6, 2019

Mollycoddling

Molding a child into a pussy, something many mothers do.

Lindsay became a fuckin mollycoddle after a lifetime of her mother turning her into one. Everybody including her father blamed her father for failing, nobody blamed her mother for mollycoddling her, but somebody else was certainly always to blame, and always had to take the pressure off her for everything.

by Solid Mantis May 12, 2019

Cam newton

The feudal lords (male and female) want 100 billion dollars from sports fans, or they lose cam Newton, and soon enough, their team. People talk shit about Jerry Richardson now, but Jerry Richardson didn't try to control sports fans with threats. Even when the Panthers were having their worst seasons, their stadium didn't seem like a big circus tent, ready to pack up and head for another town.

The feudal lords say the sports fans won't keep Cam Newton or their team without hell to pay.

by Solid Mantis December 31, 2019

Polka dot underwear

The emperor's new clothes.

The emperor looked like a clown in his/her polka dot underwear.

by Solid Mantis March 10, 2021