1) Max goes
out at 6:30am to leave for work and discovers
the front tyre on his bike is completely flat. Max looks angrily at the tyre and proclaims "oh you bastard-fuck!".
2) Miriam goes
to the fridge for her half of that
chocolate cake she's been
looking forward to all day, only
to discover that
her brother Danny has eaten it. "That
was for me Danny you bastard-fuck" she then wails.