Sir Bartholomew McTavish's definitions
or 'bling waddler' are words only applying to fat men between 35 and 45 who wear shorts, sandals and puffa jackets. The commonly tend to drive 'Ive-Got-An-Under-Sized-Penis' cars,Four by fours or minivans. They also are overly hairy, facially smug and wear Bluetooth's ear pods proudly as though they are rich Godlike men walking the streets. In actuality they are fat, waddling,hairy twats who'll end up with brain problems,drink problems and wives who only do it with them for the cash. Also they are probably closet homosexuals who film their neighbours kids through the cracks in the garden fence.
CHILD: Mummy, mummy why is that fat man walking like he needs a poo and what is that stupid f-ing thing in his ear.
MOTHER: Well son, that's what we call 'Bling Waddlers' or 'Bling Waddler'. I want you to stay away from people like that. I'm not prejudice but they are the work of Satan and you'll burn in the fires Hell if you ever become one of those. And that thing in his ear is something that lets the police know where the bastard is.
CHILD: (Scare witless) Okay Mummy, take your pills...
MOTHER: Well son, that's what we call 'Bling Waddlers' or 'Bling Waddler'. I want you to stay away from people like that. I'm not prejudice but they are the work of Satan and you'll burn in the fires Hell if you ever become one of those. And that thing in his ear is something that lets the police know where the bastard is.
CHILD: (Scare witless) Okay Mummy, take your pills...
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 5, 2007
Get the bling waddlersmug. Euphemistic. Same as 'Shake Hands with Tommy Tank' or 'Making Love to Madame Palm and Her Five Lovely Daughters' or even 'I'm Going to do a Barclays'
SON: Don't come in Mum, I'm trying to meet Weird Al Spankovich.
MUM: Are you fucking wanking in that bathroom again?
SON: Maybe. (Ughhhhhgggh.)
MUM: Well hurry the fuck up, I need to shit as well and your Dad's downstairs fucking your sister in the other toilet.
SON: What?
MUM: What?
MUM: Are you fucking wanking in that bathroom again?
SON: Maybe. (Ughhhhhgggh.)
MUM: Well hurry the fuck up, I need to shit as well and your Dad's downstairs fucking your sister in the other toilet.
SON: What?
MUM: What?
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish February 17, 2009
Get the Weird Al Spankovichmug. The exact word to describe the level of non sanity of Ming the Merciless from the Flash Gordon universe.
Why any hero would be named after an all purpose cleaner is beyond me.
Why any hero would be named after an all purpose cleaner is beyond me.
After Ming was impaled on Flash's ship in the 1980s movie of the same name, as Flash.
Dale: You just impaled him with that spaceship!
Flash: Yeah, I know. I kick ass don't I?
Dale: That Ming was mad.
Flash: Yeah, you could say he was 'Mingsane'
Dale: Oh Flash, you're so funny.
Flash: I know. Shall we make out and laugh at Brian Blessed's pants?
Dale: Oh yes please, then I'd like to recieve your seed, on top of that spiky spinning platform thing where that dude's eyes popped out.
Flash: Yeah. I'm great aren't I? I play football.
Dale: You just impaled him with that spaceship!
Flash: Yeah, I know. I kick ass don't I?
Dale: That Ming was mad.
Flash: Yeah, you could say he was 'Mingsane'
Dale: Oh Flash, you're so funny.
Flash: I know. Shall we make out and laugh at Brian Blessed's pants?
Dale: Oh yes please, then I'd like to recieve your seed, on top of that spiky spinning platform thing where that dude's eyes popped out.
Flash: Yeah. I'm great aren't I? I play football.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish February 17, 2009
Get the mingsanemug. Some drunken idiot who thinks he's a superhero and tries to wrestle the dustbins outside his own house.
A true 'Fissedasapartman' is identified as a man who loses the fight to his bins and or wakes up next to his bins,
covered in catshit and in the nip with a banana wedged in his butt cheeks. (Put there by kind-meaning neighbours.)
A true 'Fissedasapartman' is identified as a man who loses the fight to his bins and or wakes up next to his bins,
covered in catshit and in the nip with a banana wedged in his butt cheeks. (Put there by kind-meaning neighbours.)
1)A Fissedasapartman is any male/semi-male from any city / town / hovel North,South,East or West, out on the town around four in the morning to be found trying to chat up a cigarette machine and pulling said device.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 1, 2008
Get the Fissedasapartmanmug. A well baked collection of turds which emantes from the anus between six and twelve hours after comestible consumption.
Exactly the same as 'Ass Gravy', 'Balloon-Knot Chutney' and 'Ass Hole Jam' but spelt completely differently.
Exactly the same as 'Ass Gravy', 'Balloon-Knot Chutney' and 'Ass Hole Jam' but spelt completely differently.
1:) He saw Shannon Matthews Mum and made trouser cake.
2:) Pornstars never ever have it.
3:) Bradley Pitt's acting abilities.
4:) Britney's career after she went fuck crazy
5:) The average Wii Sports Golf Score
2:) Pornstars never ever have it.
3:) Bradley Pitt's acting abilities.
4:) Britney's career after she went fuck crazy
5:) The average Wii Sports Golf Score
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 16, 2008
Get the trouser cakemug. The act of baptising a girlfriend, wife, fuck buddy (daughter's?) breast or "baps" region with god's sticky nectar.
PATRICK:I say, did you hear that Tom Baker and Lalla Ward were married in the early 1980s?
SPONGEBOB: No. Bet she got a few bapjizm s off that ex monk ex Time Lord kick ass old dude, who's still on Little Britain.
PATRICK: Sphincter.
SPONGEBOB: No. Bet she got a few bapjizm s off that ex monk ex Time Lord kick ass old dude, who's still on Little Britain.
PATRICK: Sphincter.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish July 25, 2009
Get the bapjizmmug. A girl or woman who is such a filth monger, or has not had it in ages, appears to just hoover a man's member into her without much effort.Usually a bit of a slack annie down there as it goes in like a dentist's mirror. Without touching the sides.
Dysonbabes are numbered in the many in Britain alone. Such as many, many people who I can't be bothered to name.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 1, 2008
Get the Dysonbabemug.