Sir Bartholomew McTavish's definitions
What Disney and all other "child" orientated businesses are doing to us at Christmas. Wishing us a 'Merry Fuckmas, you've just paid us £40 for a piece of shit, you stupid fucking moron. You keep this economy going and you buy our crap?'
At Eurodisney
DAD: Go say hi to Mickey son,
SON: Okay Dad. Hiya Mickey, we thought you were great in Steamboat Willy
MICKEY MOUSE COSTUME MAN:Fuck you kid, give me your watch, cash and toys. (punches kid in face and signs Dad's car in own feaces.) Merry Fuckmas assholes.
DAD: Go say hi to Mickey son,
SON: Okay Dad. Hiya Mickey, we thought you were great in Steamboat Willy
MICKEY MOUSE COSTUME MAN:Fuck you kid, give me your watch, cash and toys. (punches kid in face and signs Dad's car in own feaces.) Merry Fuckmas assholes.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 29, 2008
Get the fuckmasmug. 'Asstrix' is the story of a Gaulish pornstar that shagged her way through every Roman Legion that Rome sent her way.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 19, 2009
Get the Asstrixmug. Look at that famous TV hooker Oprah always going on about how poor people are cool when she has billions of bucks tucked away herself. I bet if she didn't get paid she be a mean crosstitute.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish June 21, 2008
Get the crosstitutemug. A 'dreast' can be spotted in the first thirty seconds of any adult man-milk producing video production.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 20, 2009
Get the dreastmug. facecool is what happens when you try to type out Facebook in a text message with T9 predictive-fucking-text on.
DAVID: Whoah, Rebecca, Victoria's on to us, somebody just text me saying that Victoria's figured out how to use a computer and has just spotted our facecool page.
REBECCA: What the fuck is facecool?
DAVID: I don't know, it's in this text. Can we go to Disney Land Rebecca, you promised.
REBECCA: What the fuck is facecool?
DAVID: I don't know, it's in this text. Can we go to Disney Land Rebecca, you promised.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 5, 2009
Get the facecoolmug. 1. Misspelt other word for swaddling material wrapped firmly around an infant,baby or politician to ensure warmth & love.
2. Blankets that have to bolted firmly around a woman while having intercourse in the dark, 'incase God sees her naked' is the usual excuse, but she quite okay with being starkers on her own in her backgarden/playground/webcast.
(Possibly a woman who is a barren lesbian, farmhand.)
2. Blankets that have to bolted firmly around a woman while having intercourse in the dark, 'incase God sees her naked' is the usual excuse, but she quite okay with being starkers on her own in her backgarden/playground/webcast.
(Possibly a woman who is a barren lesbian, farmhand.)
MAN: Darling I know we've only known eachother fifteen years and are having a healthy, normal,if awfully infrequent, sexual relationship with one another but would it be ok if we could, perhaps, have sexual relations on top of the funting tonight as I've never so much as seen one of your nipples! The closest is that drawing, that I drew, ten years ago.
WOMAN: (Uninteligable gibberish to the effect of 'No,sex is all you ever think about, you lazy,unshaven,quite wellhung, perverted,disgusting, patriarchal, misogynistic bastard. Give me more female orgasms while I laugh at your penis & talk to my friends about how it only gets wet once a week.' etcetera usual guff,excuses & insults.)
WOMAN: (Uninteligable gibberish to the effect of 'No,sex is all you ever think about, you lazy,unshaven,quite wellhung, perverted,disgusting, patriarchal, misogynistic bastard. Give me more female orgasms while I laugh at your penis & talk to my friends about how it only gets wet once a week.' etcetera usual guff,excuses & insults.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 1, 2008
Get the Funtingmug. Of the portly, well endowed and sometimes aged of the female sex.
When the lady/beast in question wears a bra that is far too small for massive jubblies.
The 'Nork Chop' refers to the skin that overhangs the bra itself.
Sometimes nice (fit babe), othertimes scary (portly woman) and downright wrong but kinda not bad if you don't admit to liking it, with the other. (Old women.)
When the lady/beast in question wears a bra that is far too small for massive jubblies.
The 'Nork Chop' refers to the skin that overhangs the bra itself.
Sometimes nice (fit babe), othertimes scary (portly woman) and downright wrong but kinda not bad if you don't admit to liking it, with the other. (Old women.)
CLARENCE: Steve,did you see that Lindsay Lohan's 'Nork Chops' in that '9 oclock News' segment? Id tap me sumofthat!
STEVE: I wouldnt say no to her in bed.but she wouldnt say yes.
CLARENCE: That's right. Rich bitches only go for rich guys. Or really ugly lesbians, who coincidentaly, usually own disgusting 'Nork Chops'.
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BARRY: Oh my god, that fat bird must have not cooked her 'Nork Chops' properly coz they're making me wanna
vomit just by looking at them.
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OLD LADY: Dennis dear, my falsies have fallen down my dirty pillows (Tits). Be a dear and fish them out for me.
DENNIS: I don't think so bitch. I aint going near your manky Nork Chops. You diseased maniac.
STEVE: I wouldnt say no to her in bed.but she wouldnt say yes.
CLARENCE: That's right. Rich bitches only go for rich guys. Or really ugly lesbians, who coincidentaly, usually own disgusting 'Nork Chops'.
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BARRY: Oh my god, that fat bird must have not cooked her 'Nork Chops' properly coz they're making me wanna
vomit just by looking at them.
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OLD LADY: Dennis dear, my falsies have fallen down my dirty pillows (Tits). Be a dear and fish them out for me.
DENNIS: I don't think so bitch. I aint going near your manky Nork Chops. You diseased maniac.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 12, 2007
Get the nork chopsmug.