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Sir Bartholomew McTavish's definitions

OlgaBolger

Any stocky Austrian,German or Scottish women who should be right heffers but are so physically shaggable that she makes bits of all men bulge to near ejaculating proportions
Mike: Did you see that sixfoot, blonde, German babe from accounting?
Dave: Olga? Yeah, I think she could benchpress a truck.
Mike: Yeah, but she is quite fit.
Dave: She's over there now! Look at those nuggs.
Mike: I've just cum.
Dave: Me too.I've got an OlgaBolger in my grits too.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 11, 2008
mugGet the OlgaBolgermug.

fuckmas

What Disney and all other "child" orientated businesses are doing to us at Christmas. Wishing us a 'Merry Fuckmas, you've just paid us £40 for a piece of shit, you stupid fucking moron. You keep this economy going and you buy our crap?'
At Eurodisney
DAD: Go say hi to Mickey son,
SON: Okay Dad. Hiya Mickey, we thought you were great in Steamboat Willy
MICKEY MOUSE COSTUME MAN:Fuck you kid, give me your watch, cash and toys. (punches kid in face and signs Dad's car in own feaces.) Merry Fuckmas assholes.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish December 29, 2008
mugGet the fuckmasmug.

ejokeulate

ejokeulate is what happens when something soooo funny happens that you either can't stop laughing, wet yourself or have an orgasm.
Samantha: What's wrong with you?
Carl: I just saw a pensioner fall over trying to eat a creamcake. I think I ejokeulated.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 22, 2008
mugGet the ejokeulatemug.

Doctor Poo

Popular euphemism for 'I'm going to go do Doctor Poo.'
Other meanings of Doctor Poo are as follows,
Dropping the kids off at the pool
Shaking hands with Tom Titt
Choking a dark demon
Doing Ertha Kitt
My arse was just sick
Talking to god on the porcelain telephone
and the best one...
emailing your boss's letterbox with a dirty attachment.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 20, 2008
mugGet the Doctor Poomug.

dicebag

to fit an non specified amount of Call of Cthulhu Dice into one's foreskin.

Towhit, bringing a fully loaded pink dicebag to a D & D session.
Katherine: Hey, Jimmy?

Jimmy: Yeah?

Katherine: I couldn't help but notice that you have placed seven multifaceted number shapes into your foreskin. Explain.

Jimmy:Well you women have got Velvet Goldmines and us men have dicebags. This is mine. Revel in my splendor,bitch.

Katherine: Twat. (Walks away to go spend his money online.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish May 29, 2008
mugGet the dicebagmug.

Asstrix

The 1960s French comic that you DIDN'T hear about.
'Asstrix' is the story of a Gaulish pornstar that shagged her way through every Roman Legion that Rome sent her way.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 19, 2009
mugGet the Asstrixmug.

captain jirk

Any person, male or female, in a film, book, game, stageplay etc that is acting in a pretentious, less than eroic manner, who ruins completely an otherwise good story.
Examples of a captain jirk are...

David from Shaun of the Dead
The Dolmen from Star Trek TOS Episode 'Elaan of Troyus'
Cypher from The Matrix
The Dursley's from Harry Potter series of books and films
Caligula from real life history and the film 'The Robe'
Brad from Superman 3
Belloq from Raiders of the Lost Ark

Etc.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 23, 2009
mugGet the captain jirkmug.

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