Sir Bartholomew McTavish's definitions
1. Misspelt other word for swaddling material wrapped firmly around an infant,baby or politician to ensure warmth & love.
2. Blankets that have to bolted firmly around a woman while having intercourse in the dark, 'incase God sees her naked' is the usual excuse, but she quite okay with being starkers on her own in her backgarden/playground/webcast.
(Possibly a woman who is a barren lesbian, farmhand.)
2. Blankets that have to bolted firmly around a woman while having intercourse in the dark, 'incase God sees her naked' is the usual excuse, but she quite okay with being starkers on her own in her backgarden/playground/webcast.
(Possibly a woman who is a barren lesbian, farmhand.)
MAN: Darling I know we've only known eachother fifteen years and are having a healthy, normal,if awfully infrequent, sexual relationship with one another but would it be ok if we could, perhaps, have sexual relations on top of the funting tonight as I've never so much as seen one of your nipples! The closest is that drawing, that I drew, ten years ago.
WOMAN: (Uninteligable gibberish to the effect of 'No,sex is all you ever think about, you lazy,unshaven,quite wellhung, perverted,disgusting, patriarchal, misogynistic bastard. Give me more female orgasms while I laugh at your penis & talk to my friends about how it only gets wet once a week.' etcetera usual guff,excuses & insults.)
WOMAN: (Uninteligable gibberish to the effect of 'No,sex is all you ever think about, you lazy,unshaven,quite wellhung, perverted,disgusting, patriarchal, misogynistic bastard. Give me more female orgasms while I laugh at your penis & talk to my friends about how it only gets wet once a week.' etcetera usual guff,excuses & insults.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 1, 2008
Get the Funting mug.facecool is what happens when you try to type out Facebook in a text message with T9 predictive-fucking-text on.
DAVID: Whoah, Rebecca, Victoria's on to us, somebody just text me saying that Victoria's figured out how to use a computer and has just spotted our facecool page.
REBECCA: What the fuck is facecool?
DAVID: I don't know, it's in this text. Can we go to Disney Land Rebecca, you promised.
REBECCA: What the fuck is facecool?
DAVID: I don't know, it's in this text. Can we go to Disney Land Rebecca, you promised.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 5, 2009
Get the facecool mug.to fit an non specified amount of Call of Cthulhu Dice into one's foreskin.
Towhit, bringing a fully loaded pink dicebag to a D & D session.
Towhit, bringing a fully loaded pink dicebag to a D & D session.
Katherine: Hey, Jimmy?
Jimmy: Yeah?
Katherine: I couldn't help but notice that you have placed seven multifaceted number shapes into your foreskin. Explain.
Jimmy:Well you women have got Velvet Goldmines and us men have dicebags. This is mine. Revel in my splendor,bitch.
Katherine: Twat. (Walks away to go spend his money online.)
Jimmy: Yeah?
Katherine: I couldn't help but notice that you have placed seven multifaceted number shapes into your foreskin. Explain.
Jimmy:Well you women have got Velvet Goldmines and us men have dicebags. This is mine. Revel in my splendor,bitch.
Katherine: Twat. (Walks away to go spend his money online.)
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish May 29, 2008
Get the dicebag mug.'Asstrix' is the story of a Gaulish pornstar that shagged her way through every Roman Legion that Rome sent her way.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 19, 2009
Get the Asstrix mug.The act of baptising a girlfriend, wife, fuck buddy (daughter's?) breast or "baps" region with god's sticky nectar.
PATRICK:I say, did you hear that Tom Baker and Lalla Ward were married in the early 1980s?
SPONGEBOB: No. Bet she got a few bapjizm s off that ex monk ex Time Lord kick ass old dude, who's still on Little Britain.
PATRICK: Sphincter.
SPONGEBOB: No. Bet she got a few bapjizm s off that ex monk ex Time Lord kick ass old dude, who's still on Little Britain.
PATRICK: Sphincter.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish July 25, 2009
Get the bapjizm mug.Planet of origin of the Gay Lords. They are the Lods of all things Gay and apparently inhabit the entire revived TV series of Doctor Who.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish April 23, 2008
Get the gayllifrey mug.Some drunken idiot who thinks he's a superhero and tries to wrestle the dustbins outside his own house.
A true 'Fissedasapartman' is identified as a man who loses the fight to his bins and or wakes up next to his bins,
covered in catshit and in the nip with a banana wedged in his butt cheeks. (Put there by kind-meaning neighbours.)
A true 'Fissedasapartman' is identified as a man who loses the fight to his bins and or wakes up next to his bins,
covered in catshit and in the nip with a banana wedged in his butt cheeks. (Put there by kind-meaning neighbours.)
1)A Fissedasapartman is any male/semi-male from any city / town / hovel North,South,East or West, out on the town around four in the morning to be found trying to chat up a cigarette machine and pulling said device.
by Sir Bartholomew McTavish January 1, 2008
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