What Disney and all other "child" orientated
businesses are doing to us at Christmas
. Wishing us a 'Merry Fuckmas
, you've just paid us £40 for a piece of shit
, you stupid fucking moron. You keep this economy going and you buy our crap?'
DAD: Go say hi to Mickey son,
SON: Okay Dad. Hiya Mickey, we thought you were great in Steamboat Willy
MICKEY MOUSE COSTUME MAN:Fuck you kid, give me your watch, cash and toys. (punches kid in face and signs Dad's car in own feaces.) Merry Fuckmas assholes.
1:)An idiot. A boob
,but who happens to be a fan of the Spongebob Squarepants
2:)The perfect breast. Not too big, not too small, not enhanced, glistening slightly with rivulets of water clinging to the surface and nipple. Sponge-like but brilliant. Like a mix betwixt Milla Jovovich's (Pre Preg) and those of Katy Perry.
Bernard: Yo, Mike, you see Spongeboob?
Mike: What? The cartoon?
Bernard: No, the hottie over there, working in that garage on that Subaru.
Mike: What? Where?
Bernard: The one over there cranking that jack now.
Mike: Where man?
Bernard: Fucking THERE! The one whose just spilled all that fucking Castrol GTX on her overalls. Look, she's the one taking off her over...alls.
Mike: We looking at the same garage?
Bernard: Hmm? She's rubbing it off.
Mike: Ooooh, the girl in the RED cap! I see her now. Hey, that's not Cas...trol...thats...Wigwam..qual...this is sweet. (They high-ten, chest bounce then return to perving.)
facecool is what happens when you try to type out Facebook in a text message with T9 predictive-fucking-text on.
DAVID: Whoah, Rebecca, Victoria's on to us, somebody just text me saying that Victoria's figured out how to use a computer and has just spotted our facecool page.
REBECCA: What the fuck is facecool?
DAVID: I don't know, it's in this text. Can we go to Disney Land Rebecca, you promised.
Of the portly
, well endowed
and sometimes aged
of the female sex.
When the lady/beast in question wears a bra
that is far too small for massive jubblies
Chop' refers to the skin that overhangs the bra itself.
Sometimes nice (fit babe), othertimes scary (portly woman) and downright wrong but kinda not bad if you don't admit to liking it, with the other. (Old women.)
CLARENCE: Steve,did you see that Lindsay Lohan's 'Nork Chops' in that '9 oclock News' segment? Id tap me sumofthat!
STEVE: I wouldnt say no to her in bed.but she wouldnt say yes.
CLARENCE: That's right. Rich bitches only go for rich guys. Or really ugly lesbians, who coincidentaly, usually own disgusting 'Nork Chops'.
BARRY: Oh my god, that fat bird must have not cooked her 'Nork Chops' properly coz they're making me wanna
vomit just by looking at them.
OLD LADY: Dennis dear, my falsies have fallen down my dirty pillows (Tits). Be a dear and fish them out for me.
DENNIS: I don't think so bitch. I aint going near your manky Nork Chops. You diseased maniac.
Euphemistic. Same as 'Shake Hands with Tommy Tank' or 'Making Love to Madame Palm and Her Five Lovely Daughters' or even 'I'm Going to do a Barclays'
SON: Don't come in Mum, I'm trying to meet Weird Al Spankovich.
MUM: Are you fucking wanking in that bathroom again?
SON: Maybe. (Ughhhhhgggh.)
MUM: Well hurry the fuck up, I need to shit as well and your Dad's downstairs fucking your sister in the other toilet.
An 'imdbber' is somebody who subscribes to IMDB or is constantly online everynight about 10ish looking up new episodes of Doctor Who
, looking for the new Star Trek
film's sequel, hurriedly awaiting news on the reboot of Superman or else trying to get any on-the-spot-information about the next Narnia
flick. Or else scanning through the fit-one-that-plays-Susan's twitter entries.
Matthew Waterhouse, desperatley waiting for a stalker to find him so he can be Adric again in a hostage situation.
Leonard Nimoy is an imdbber. Online at home about 10ish, looking up to see if anybody in Iceland doisn't know he was Spock. (And no saddos not Kerry Katona Iceland. The place Bjork is from. Gimboids.)
That time of year when you just can't be arsed to do anything or can't be arsed to bother with Christmas
. It's about the same time all the shops cash in off December
25th by starting their X-Mas sales in Mid July and which don't end until the end of February
Enid: Cyril, are you going to put up the decorations? It's only four days until the birthday of our Lord?
Cyril: I can't be Christmarsed.
Enid: Oh go on, I'll let you fondle my new hip?
Cyril: Fuck off you slag.I should've married your sister. At least she swallowed.