1. Masturbating with your hand after it has been cut off.
(EXTREEEEME the stranger
2. Your penis has frostbite
yet you still jack off.
3. You travel forwards in time and have sex with yourself after you've died.
4. You clone yourself, kill your clone, and jack off using its hands/rectum.
Phil was totally making too much noise last night during his necrobation session after his surgery. At least he's making the best of having gangrene.