1 definition by Secretagentblaire
Half-cocked former middle-class dude who was a stoner in high school, discovered shrooms at a camping festival in college and has since decided to live as a nearly homeless walking tarot card. Like if The Fool jumped off the cliff and landed in a mushroom patch.
He's emotionally stunted; probably hates his dad for some perceived slight like say, asking him to do something with his life other than donation-based drug parties. He's sexually reckless with only a tenuous enough grasp on nonmonogamy to use it to be a slut. Into tantra but not condoms.
Supported Bernie but would rather watch the government collapse so ultimately sat out the whole election, "the moon landing was faked, bruh," anti-vaxxer, some kind of vegan/orthorexic eater but his abs only look good because of all the coke he does.
Instead of hosting intelligent discourse he likes to ask "highly philosophical" questions as a means of deflection, but his arguments can be knocked down with simple logic. He refuses to partake in society, because he sees through the bullshit, but in reality he's almost totally ignorant.
He'll seduce you with talks of sacred geometry and if he's the calmer type, demonstrations of acro yoga. For all the talk of intimacy, spirituality, and human connection, he just grunts on top of you like any other dudebro you've made the mistake of fucking.
Basically a very dirty and confused cross between the shittiest art student in the program and a standard hard-partying college dude.
He's emotionally stunted; probably hates his dad for some perceived slight like say, asking him to do something with his life other than donation-based drug parties. He's sexually reckless with only a tenuous enough grasp on nonmonogamy to use it to be a slut. Into tantra but not condoms.
Supported Bernie but would rather watch the government collapse so ultimately sat out the whole election, "the moon landing was faked, bruh," anti-vaxxer, some kind of vegan/orthorexic eater but his abs only look good because of all the coke he does.
Instead of hosting intelligent discourse he likes to ask "highly philosophical" questions as a means of deflection, but his arguments can be knocked down with simple logic. He refuses to partake in society, because he sees through the bullshit, but in reality he's almost totally ignorant.
He'll seduce you with talks of sacred geometry and if he's the calmer type, demonstrations of acro yoga. For all the talk of intimacy, spirituality, and human connection, he just grunts on top of you like any other dudebro you've made the mistake of fucking.
Basically a very dirty and confused cross between the shittiest art student in the program and a standard hard-partying college dude.
by Secretagentblaire May 13, 2019