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3 definitions by SeattleEvilDave

 
1.
1. H1N1 Swine Flu

2. Disease people get when they join HOG (Harley Owners Group). HOG membership comes with the purchase of a Harley Davidson motorcycle. This new sense of club membership often is attributed to Rich Urban Bikers (RUBs) where they pretend they are in the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club. They're usually just doctors or lawyers with too much money, dressing up like it's Halloween and playing bad-ass. You can immediately tell somebody has Hamthrax by the HOG patches on their jackets and puffing their chest out. Though they wish they were real bikers, don't let them confuse you, they're not. You never see riders with Hamthrax on the road unless the sun is out and it's 70 degrees or warmer.

3. Disease of the Lemmings that just LOVE Harley Davidson, but don't own one. They have all the other important gear, like the T-shirts, jackets, Harley Davidson Wolf Blankets on the bed, big stickers in the window of their truck, Harley Davidson golf balls, you know, all the crap they sell that's not a motorcycle that makes up a large portion of their revenue. These guys typically will be the first to lick your boots if you ride one and tell you about all of their friends that ride and about the Honda they rode back in the 70's ad nauseum.
"Check out that guy on his Harley, he must be a bad-ass."

"No, he's just got a bad case of Hamthrax."
by SeattleEvilDave October 18, 2009
 
2.
Native from the state of Washington. You can usually spot Eastern Washingtards by their pointy teeth from the inbreeding. Western Washingtards tend to have some sort of Liberal gibberish on their Subarus or Volvos if in Ballard, and definitely can tell by their driving skills. There is always the possibility that Sasquatch is right around the bend on I5 or any other freeway, so they will slow down to 40 or slower to make sure they don't hit rogue Sasquatchs on the freeway system. Washingtards are very sensitive and avoid confrontation, so never say anything mean or direct at them, as they may go sulk and pout over your harsh words for the next 3-5 years. Arch Enemies of Washintards: People from LA or the East Coast.
I love the city of Seattle, but there's too many Washingtards there.
by SeattleEvilDave October 15, 2009
 
3.
Young urban hipster that rides a bicycle. These special people wear skin tight pants with some punk belt with their ass crack hanging out, pant leg rolled up and Chuck Taylor All Stars shoes on and some sort of skin tight t-shirt and stupid assed necklace like a dog chain around their neck. They've usually modified a good bicycle and turned it into an abomination by taking the brakes off, handlebars straight and chopped, and fixed gears. They think they're gods gift to bicycling (which sucks anyway) and think they rule the road. They're more like deer on the road, very unpredictable, and swerve in and out of traffic in rush hour, use the sidewalks and generally cry large alligator tears when they get run down... Cycletards are the worst of the hipster douchebags on the planet.
What was that I just ran over? I think it might have been a cycletard, as I have black jeans wrapped around my axle now. Damn it.
by SeattleEvilDave October 17, 2009