When you get shitfaced with your girl and stop at IHOP and have breakfast before going home, then you have wild hot sex and when she orgasms her bowels release a fiery mess of anus oil all over the bedsheets.
Oh man, Trudie and I went to IHOP last night after getting shitfaced. We got home and I thought everything was fine but then she unleashed a Rooty tooty fresh and doody. She passed out and I had to clean it up, so we broke up
by Scotty Nice January 15, 2020

When you are eating out your girl with two fingers inside and you start pretending your fingers are Fred Astaire’s tappity tapping little feet against her G spot.
Last night I was eating Trudie out and I stuck two fingers in and danced them around on her G spot and gave her The Fred Astaire tap dance.
by Scotty Nice November 05, 2019

When a middle aged golfer gets drunk on the course and attempts to pick up on the cart girl, even though he is married. He tosses down a few White Claws and some awful lines that didn't even work 10 years prior thinking he has a chance to get up in her britches.
Holy shit, Trudie was the cart girl today and Dane asked her if she'd ever seen a lefty "drive it that hard". Jesus, Stranger Dane-ger
by Scotty Nice November 05, 2019

When you see someone hitting a golf ball and you feel bad for them because you assume they have prosthetic legs. Their ability to flex and move their lower extremities is so bad that you imagine they were hit by a train as a child or had polio because their parents were anti-vaxxers.
So I was watching this guy tee off the other day and I felt so sad thinking of what happened to them as a child. Then I watched them walk away and it was perfectly normal. He was stiff as a ball hitting a golf shot, but walked fine. Really bizarre, must be at least a 10 handicap without an actual handicap.
by Scotty Nice July 27, 2023

When a man is able to achieve his three greatest pleasures in one sitting by reading a Stephen King novel, playing online cribbage and having your butthole filled with man mayo.
I was talking to my buddy and learned he loves three things - reading Stephen King novels, playing cribbage and getting butt fucked. He then proceeded to tell me for some reason that after he got home one night and his family was out of town, he picked up and started to read Christine by Stephen King, played online cribbage and then had a male prostitute given him a prostate exam with his erect wiener. He succeeded in getting Christine's cum filled Cribbage. Wild stuff.
by Scotty Nice October 18, 2023

When you take your family to the magical world of Disney and spend five days in scorching ball dripping heat, getting run over by heifers in electric scooters and spending more than half your salary on Mickey shaped treats while getting in two rides a day and all you come away with is a hat with a picture of that mother fucker on the front.
My husband was so angry when we were finally leaving Disney that to commemorate the financial destruction we had just gone though he decided to buy one last thing, Mickey’s hat of despair. I’m not sure we will ever recover.
by Scotty Nice June 16, 2023

Hey Bill, Nick from Gay Pimps Logistics. We got the payment from Greg, so his load will be in your hands by Tuesday.
by Scotty Nice April 22, 2021
