4 definitions by Salmonhq

Top Definition
A person who tries to claim a funny thought, or joke as their own when they either had nothing or very little to do with it.
Guy 1: Did I tell you about the new sex position I came up with, I call it the Lazy Astronaut.
Guy 2:Dude you did not invent that I already read about it on the Urban Dictionary.
Guy 1:ummm yea I was the one who posted it
Guy 2: B.S. man! I know the dude that invented it! You are such a Joke Lamprey...
by Salmonhq February 13, 2008
51%
To claim majority ownership of a "group" thought or joke.
I.E. When during the course of a night several people evolve a funny phrase or thought one individual will yell out "I claim 51%". Thereby they are the majority owner of this new and original thought.

In certain cases, people who had very little to do with joke may claim, or even beg for the 51%...These people are know as a joke lamprey and should be labeled as a 1% (“one percenter”) for that is how much they actually contributed to this new thought.
"If those idiots wanted to be rescued why didnt they just light the tire?"...."I call 51%"
by Salmonhq February 13, 2008
This is doing the absolute maximum number of tasks at a given time. Way beyond just Multitasking
Ultratasking-I was on the toilet, working on my laptop, talking on confrence call, watching the football game, and eating a slice of pizza & coke when I decided this would be a good time to clip my toenails.
by Salmonhq October 18, 2009
A person so full of information/knowledge that they are as useful as a Smartphone application.
Stephen Hawking is like the living app of Physics
by SalmonHQ January 31, 2011

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