7 definitions by SP00NS

Top Definition
Just below Fuckbag on the Joker-San Female Rating System, a Cum Tanker describes the infamous fukanythinwithacockian slut. Usually a higher form of party girl who gives blow jobs in the bathroom of the local night club instead of a back alley next to a dumpster, like a Drink Tickets or a Gas Money would. Her being a pro, she can most likely take it all the way down to the base without gagging, and "tanks" every last drop like its fuel for her internal party engine.
"I met this chick at the club last night. Whoa boy, she was a total Cum Tanker. She gave me an amazing suckbuggy in the bathroom and made every inch disappear. Fantastico!"
by SP00NS September 24, 2007

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Elite marks in the Joker-San Rating System. Describes an extremely beautiful woman, who is so hot, just the sight of her gives the viewing male an erection, which in turn causes whatever "hypothetical" blemishes he has on his member to crack open and ruin whatever healing process has occured. But the woman is so ridiculously hot, it's all worth it....
"Oh my god, did you see Jokers new chick? She's a total Scab Cracker!
by SP00NS September 24, 2007

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This rating system originated in the bowels of Las Vegas by one of the city's finest and foremost authority on the quality of the female population of Las Vegas underground. Ranks are as follows(from highest to lowest):
Scab Cracker
Gash
Fuckbag
Cum Tanker
Drink Tickets
Gas Money.

This rating system is not limited to Las Vegas at all. It is currently being used by all the "Urban Peeps" in Hawaii.
"When we get to the club, lets use the Joker-San Female Rating System. My Gash is on vacation, so I wouldn't mind takin' home a couple of Fuckbags tonight. Or maybe a Drink Tickets or Gas Money if I get too hammered"
by SP00NS September 24, 2007

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Lower level rank in the Joker-San Female Rating System. Describes a party girl whos really into booze. She is hammered most of the time, causing her looks to fall in the shitter, but will bang anyone for free Drink Tickets.
"Aw man, I was at this party last night, and this chick was total Drink Tickets. I wasn't hammered enough to bang her, but Joker was so plastered, he humped her right there on the couch!"
by SP00NS September 24, 2007

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Lowest rank in the Joker-San Female Rating System. Describes a female who is so desparate for male companionship that she'll bang anyone for Gas Money. One usually has to be extremely intoxicated to wake up next to one of these in the morning, forcing one to pull a coyote ugly, followed by a slew of major profanity, occasionally interrupted by projectile vomiting and sobbing. Also a pre-cursor to repeatedly beating the crap out of one's "so-called" friends for allowing this bullshit to happen. Poor guy.
"Why didn't we stop Spoons from banging that Gas money last night? We better stay out of his way for a while, he's gonna be so pissed when he wakes up, IF he wakes up. Poor guy......"
by SP00NS September 24, 2007

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The glorious act of random hetrosexual anal sex. If the girl is bent over an actual barstool you get extra points.
"I met this Cum Tanker last night and within 20 minutes, I was stool shanking her over the pool table at the Double Down."
by SP00NS September 24, 2007

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Second level entry in the Joker-san female rating system, right below Scab Cracker. A very nice female specimen, definately oral sex worthy.
"That slut I gave the angry dragon to last night was pretty hot, not quite a Scab Cracker like the one last week, but definately a piece of Gash...."
by SP00NS June 19, 2007

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