Definitions by Russell H
Mashed Potato
Mashed Potato by Russell H May 24, 2007
Mergeopath
Combines Merge with Sociopath. Defines a driver (usually male, usually talking on a Bluetooth device, usually driving a luxury sports sedan), who passes up an entire line of vehicles at an offramp before cutting/forcing their way into the line at the last possible moment before the exit.
Mergeopath's are self-absorbed, obviously far too important to wait in line like the rest of the common commuters, and cause an immediate rise in the blood pressure level of all those who are aware of their assholish conduct.
Mergeopath's are self-absorbed, obviously far too important to wait in line like the rest of the common commuters, and cause an immediate rise in the blood pressure level of all those who are aware of their assholish conduct.
(wife on cell phone talking to her husband)
"Yeah, honey, I should be home in about twenty min...OH CRAP (sound of brakes and a purse flying off the passenger's seat to the floor)! I JUST GOT CUT OFF BY SOME DAMNED MERGEOPATH!"
"Yeah, honey, I should be home in about twenty min...OH CRAP (sound of brakes and a purse flying off the passenger's seat to the floor)! I JUST GOT CUT OFF BY SOME DAMNED MERGEOPATH!"
Mergeopath by Russell H May 22, 2007
Register Clot
Derived from "blood clot", a register clot stops the flow of commerce by continuing to shop even though they have reached the cash register. They order cigarette cartons that are located in distant locked cabinets, paruse the lottery gaming options available to them, or wait for loved ones who are still retrieving that one can of refried beans that they forgot to pick up during their normal shopping rounds.
(husband & wife on cell phone)
Her: "Honey, are you on your way back from the market yet?"
Him: "I should be, but some damned Register Clot is still waiting for the clerk to return with the 2-for-1 brand of creamy peanut butter"...
Her: "Honey, are you on your way back from the market yet?"
Him: "I should be, but some damned Register Clot is still waiting for the clerk to return with the 2-for-1 brand of creamy peanut butter"...
Register Clot by Russell H May 22, 2007
Aisle Rat
An airplane passenger who immediately vacates their seat the moment the airplane pulls up to the gate and stops.
They quickly grab their bags from the overhead compartment and push forward, anxiously waiting in the aisle to deplane - like a rat abandoning a sinking ship - even though they still have 5 minutes before the doors open. They are usually talking loudly on their cell phones during this entire process.
Their laptop computers and carry on bags press into the faces of the seated passengers, who are oftentimes also treated to an unwanted ringside view of the aisle rat's rear end.
They quickly grab their bags from the overhead compartment and push forward, anxiously waiting in the aisle to deplane - like a rat abandoning a sinking ship - even though they still have 5 minutes before the doors open. They are usually talking loudly on their cell phones during this entire process.
Their laptop computers and carry on bags press into the faces of the seated passengers, who are oftentimes also treated to an unwanted ringside view of the aisle rat's rear end.
(Husband and Wife seated across the aisle from each other)
Pax 1: Honey, could you hand me my bag?
Pax 2: I can't. These damned aisle rats are in the way.
Pax 1: Honey, could you hand me my bag?
Pax 2: I can't. These damned aisle rats are in the way.