Robert Akins's definitions

cocksided

Hell, its almost sideways. Or maybe off-centre. Off-center? Who knows.

*When examining a painting.* Hm... No, no, that's cocksided.

by Robert Akins September 7, 2005

White-Boy Day

n. The wannabe-black pimp Drexl's (played by Gary Oldman) idea of a holiday where crazy white men can assualt pimps in their place of buisness and get away with it. For Christian Slater, it obviously wasn't White-Boy Day.

Drexl Spivey: "He must have thought it was white boy day. It ain't white boy day, is it?"
Marty: "No man, It ain't white boy day."

by Robert Akins June 2, 2004

thinkivist

n. A person who has serious convictions in one side of an arguement versus another, yet refuses to act on them in any way. Or expresses their opinion artistically, passively, and in an unobstrusive manner. Where a political activist would lie on the street in front of a moving tank, begging for the continued, necessary slaughter of the unborn, a political thinkivist would be like Jonathan Swift, and simply write a brochure about it.

"Listening to Bill O'Reilly's radioshow infused her with so much unescapable, indescribable hatred that the only way she could safely express her opinion was via pen to the paper pad. And it felt good to be a thinkivist, oh yes it did."

by Robert Akins December 28, 2005

Cooty

Another synonym for private parts, be it male or female. Cooty is used primarily in an effort to be cute or subtle in the reference to the area, without being excessively dirty.

This popsicle tingles, right down to the cooty.

by Robert Akins December 28, 2005

Extendogina

The most dangerous weapon ever concieved by man. Or rather, (for the most part) women. The weapon of choice for the most dangerous of ho's, the extendogina lashes out swiftly and engulfs its victim in acidic poon soup, with a vice grip equivalent to that of Optimus Prime giving you a titty-twister. First discovered in the pants of Katy.

"Watch out! The extendogina is coming! Everyone, grab a hat!"

by Robert Akins June 3, 2004

Global Frequency

A a worldwide, independent defense agency, civilian-run by exactly one-thousand and one agents of varying skills and expertise (detectives, mechanics, assasins, pilots, etc). Lead by the enigmatic Miranda Zero and the supercomputer-of-a-babe and central dispatcher Aleph, they're called into action to clean up all the world-threatening junk that the government run organizations are typically unable to handle.

All the black projects, the mad science, the chilly encounters with the unknown, the Cold War traps... they're all sitting there like landmines. Eventually someone will trip over one of them. Global Frequency are there to catch them when they fall, and defuse the mines before they explode into mainstream consciousness and cause more pain and horror than they already have...

Are you on the Global Frequency?

by Robert Akins June 2, 2004

Noise-Pussy

n. A good description to use when one simply cannot tollerate the volume on an audio player of any sort, and complains about it, in the same whining sound that a vagina makes during sexual intercourse.

"God.. Turn this Mindless Self Indulgences off... It hurts my ears."
"Don't be such a noise-pussy, Brian."

by Robert Akins June 24, 2004