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Reverend Pope's definitions

Freelance Cock

When someone doesn't get any action for so long that they're penis is at anyones disposale, they will ahve sex with anyone
Yo Chris Hunt how's it going with the ladeez?

Man this shit wack i haven't got laid for so long I've now got a freelance cock
by Reverend Pope May 20, 2009
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Through the Joking Glass

When you start telling a joke or a story, realise halfway through that the listeners are not going to find it funny, but have already committed to telling it and feel obligated to finish.
Guy 1: A man goes into a ...(tharr be more)bar and asks for a Bulgarian Carpet Bomb...
Girl: Ewww that's gross!
Guy 1: Erm, yeah, anyway, and so, erm, the bartender...
Guy 2: Man, you are so Through the Joking Glass.
Guy 1: Shut up you Mantraitor
by Reverend Pope March 13, 2010
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Scumpany

The companionship of vile and degenerate individuals.
Guy 1: Hey buddy wanna watch Shrek 2 tonight
Guy 2: Sorry man I'm thinking of visiting the emporium of sexual depravity
Guy 1: Righteous dude can I come too
Guy 2: Yeah sure bro, lord knows I could use some scumpany
by Reverend Pope November 7, 2010
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Chocolate Toothbrush

A common act between gay males, when one man's rectum is full of shit the other pummels his anus with his dick, thus getting it covered in chocolate. The first man then kneels down and brushes his teeth with his new chocolate tooth brush
Elliott: Damn man I forgot to bring my toothbrush to this man only sleepover

Robbie: Dont worry Kingy wait till you need to shit then I'll give you a chocolate toothbrush

Elliott: Thanks mate, I love it when you slam into my arse
by Reverend Pope May 21, 2009
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Florida Fire-Hose (laxative)

So named after Florida Fire-Hose (annual event)

*WARNING 66% OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE TAKEN THIS PILL HAVE DIED*

Military strength laxative, expolosive in nature, strong enough that even Chuck Norris Fears its name.

Tried only by three people, one was Alexander Litvenenko, who was given it by Russian FSB agents, and literally shat his hair off

The other two were un-named Lebanese men who tried the Lebanese Microwave, one shit out his own intestines, while the other was in a coma for almost a year and still cannot control his anal sphincter
Guy 1: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Guy 2: Would you look at that

Guy3: What is it

Guy 2: that fool just took some Florida Fire-Hose (laxative)

Guy 3: Ah thats why his intestines are coating that wall, I thought he was just some eccentric modern artist

Guy 2: Oh no he's that too, and a fag
by Reverend Pope May 28, 2010
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Catalonian Tractor Prank

Upon encountering a sleeping, or passed out individual you transport them to a field preferably covered in manure. Using a thick rope to tie their testicles to a tractor, you slowly drag them through the shit by their balls
Lafamuda Hearson: HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE you stink and your balls are bleeding worse than a gang raped two year old

K-Dawg: I hear you friend, these guys pulled the old Catalonian Tractor Prank on me, now I literally Cum blood
by Reverend Pope September 11, 2009
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Haggis Surprise

Where some guys exhume a recently dead person's stomache and then fuck it
After ejaculating they shit into it, mix in entrails and ideally some period blood and then cooks it and serve it to somoene with some delicious chocolate (shit) sauce
Guy 1: 'I Invited some guys over to watch die hard on saturday night, instead we ended up giving my neighbour our haggis surprise'

Guy 2: 'Sweet man I cant belive I missed it'
by Reverend Pope May 20, 2009
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