28 definitions by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin

North of 8

A phrase used to describe the portion of Wisconsin North of U.S. highway 8, where it is very rural and the locals all seem to be a little slow or partly crazy. People in this region have a higher propensity for intercourse with dead deer, marrying their 2nd cousins and trash art on their front lawns.

Lost driver: Hi, i'm looking for any town with a population that have family tree's with fewer forks than average and where the local carnival's feature tractor pulls and cheap sex with farm animals... which direction should I head?
Gas Station Cashier: see this map right here? you wanna be "North of 8"

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin July 12, 2018

hyper duke

When you really have to shit but don't have the time to relax and enjoy it, so you push it out as fast as possible, in an effort to get back to your day.

I had to shit really bad, but Rick and Morty was about to come on, so I had to make it a Hyper Duke

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin March 1, 2018

wisconsin pretty

A term used to describe an American woman who in most other states would be considered unattractive, but is beautiful by the standards of men from Wisconsin.

Guy: "what do you think of that chick over there by the keg?"
Friend: "you mean the one with the gut and John Denver haircut?"
Guy: "yeah, that one."
Friend: "Well she looks like Rebel Wilson, so I guess she's Wisconsin Pretty."
Guy: "Go Packers..."

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin March 1, 2018

queef stroganoff

The thick, noxious sludge that drips from a fat woman's cooter when she gets super horned up during the summer months, and her vaginal secretions meet the rest of her panty sweat.

Oh my god, my mom went for a walk today and when she came home, the entire house stunk like Queef Stroganoff.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin March 19, 2016

bird box challenge

The act of imitating the movie Bird Box, and challenging yourself to complete an otherwise innocuous or petty task while blindfolded.

Guy 1: you wanna try the Bird Box Challenge?
Guy 2: Sure, what do I have to do?
Guy 1: Put on this blindfold and try to cross the street without looking.
Guy 2: Sounds kinda dangerous.
Guy 1: You never know when you'll need this skill man. Everyone's doing it!
Guy 2: Ok... **(puts on blindfold and starts walking across the street, then gets hit by a bus)**
Guy 1: Beautiful.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin January 2, 2019

herd of pachyderms

A group of 3-8 fat women, who travel together on social outings for protection and moral support. They are known to frequent Ladies Night and all-you-can-eat buffets.

I came to the bar to find some hot action, not get trampled by a herd of pachyderms.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin February 13, 2019

adrian peterson'd

The act of a child getting their ass whooped by their parent for a petty reason.

Last week I was picking my daughter up from school, when another kid dropped his backpack on the ground and got totally Adrian Peterson'd by his dad.

by Rev. Johnny Blumpkin March 1, 2018