1 definition by Protector of notions of truth

Top Definition
Word of Ancient Greek or possibly Egyptian origins. Has highly complex usages:

1 - moist ~ Noun. Describes a painful medical condition whereby you automatically assume everything said in your vicinity was about you. Severe cases are highly contagious, and especially dangerous when informing others of the way that you think a person spoke about you, leading them to also mistakenly believe slander to have taken place. This can be especially confusing and damaging to self-esteem of the individual with the condition and can even be damaging to the reputation of the person supposedly having said the original misinterpreted comment.

This condition is treatable, but only with a large heavy blunt object, the corner of a table, rail, fence or curb and some rat poison.

The condition is often found in very stupid people who fill their meaningless existences with false hope that people are talking about them- i.e. Self Absorption

Also. "To afflicted by moist snizzitis" (Medical- "dampcephalitis snizavorium"

2- Anti- ~ing Med. Procedure. The treatment for the above condition (in 1). Although ancient medical practices for curing the condition of having a moist sniz were often crude, involving heavy items such as boulders or fallen trees, contemporary medicine uses more humane techniques to remove aforementioned "moist sniz", i.e. Placing the patients mouth open on either side of a curb or table corner, then slamming a blunt item into the neck at the base of the skull. This treatment breaks the jaw bone in three places and removes 80% of the patients teeth. Correctly administered surgery will also helpfully break the neck at the 3rd Cervical vertebrae and prevent the person myopic enough to have caught "moist sniz" from breathing or indeed living. The surgery also uses the common rat poison "warfarin" to produce an artificial haemophilia so if the procedure becomes complicated and the neck fails to break, there is still a backup, in that the afflicted person will instead haemorrhage the contents of their circulatory system onto the curb and pavement over the next few hours.

3. Having a moist ~ Common Exprs. Over recent years the actual medical condition of moist snizitis has become rare, due government official recommendations that anyone suspected of actually having the condition due to obvious public displays of straightforward stupidity, should be treated with a vigilant attitude and given any "surgery" necessary to save them immediately, e.g. outside a classroom on conveniently placed concrete steps.

Therefore, in recent years having a moist sniz has become more of a common expression of simply a very gullible a person is, the sniz being "gullibility" and this being measured on a dampness scale- with "moist" being the most gullible. In the majority of situations, e.g. a science class, "having a moist sniz" would actually be a good thing, as it would indicate a "child-like" innocent eagerness to learn and accept the teachings of a respected figure, and should be considered a compliment when directed at said respected figure.

4. Sniz Adjctv. Can be used to describe any thing to be taken very seriously, or believed at all costs.

5. "Sniz" Dialect feature. A phonetic spelling of the way Mexicans say "Sneeze". This has become especially common in recent years as Mexicans have become more and more unable to stay awake long enough to run a government capable of supporting a Heath Service- hence, causing Nationwide health problems, including Common colds, Influenza and MEGRAIDS- or Mexican easily grabbable rape acquired immune deficiency syndrome (Aids)

N.B. Not to be confused with "Schniz" which is a cave dwelling pygmy delicacy in south eastern Germany/ Austria. It resembles a sausage but contains goat cheese, pickled gherkin and 8 week old cat semen.
Examples for all 5 usages:

1- "I have a moist sniz", "I have a moistened sniz doctor, am I going to die" ("no, you are just very stupid, please go and lie in the road"), "Person A has a moist sniz, she told person B that I said X about her, now person B also has a moist sniz as she believes her", "The teacher clearly hadn't had a relationship for so long that she had developed a sick longing for anything said to be about her, when of course she was way too fat and dumb to be taken seriously as an actual partner"

2- "Joe bravely and selflessly treated the teacher's moist sniz outside the building where Joe's quick thinking brain told him he could find concrete steps and a length of 4"x2""

3- "Wow, you must have en extremely moist sniz, you believe anything don't you", "I have a test for moist sniz, "Did you know that the word sniz means Vagina"...Ha Tricked you, of course it doesn't, you have a very moist sniz"

4- "The teacher was so monumentally retarded that it was decided to be a sniz issue. A quick call to the "special hospital's sniz action line" was all that was needed to stem the flow of tripe spilling from her malnourished, oxygen starved heap of tumour she called a brain"

5- "Ethsuthse me, I am Mehichan, I have sthwine flu, I keep on snizzing. Go away it is time for my sthiesta."
by Protector of notions of truth April 30, 2009

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