Ultimate Fighting Championship
Bunch of hard-nuts get into an octagon shaped cage and knock the living shit out of each other. Elbows, knees to face, you name it.
No throat, eye or back of head strikes.
Different to eg K-1 as ground-work and submission techniques are also used.
The best knockouts ever, and the most testosterone flying around.
Most fighters come in classified as MMA (Mixed Martial Arts), although many are from Jiu-Jitsu.
Argueably the future of full-contact fighting.
Makes boxing look gay.
"Hi, Jeff? It's Bob. Me and my boyfriend are going to go watch the boxing - wanna cum?"
"No, Fuck off. I'm staying in with a few cans to watch the UFC, bitch"
I could write a book on this one, and it would be a big as The Bible. What can I say? Most powerful Nation, Biggest Shit-for-brains as Leader...
"This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. And having said that, all options are on the table."
"I want to thank the President and the CEO of Constellation Energy, Mayo Shattuck. That's a pretty cool first name, isn't it, Mayo. Pass the Mayo."
"Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better. "
"We got an issue in America. Too many good docs are gettin' out of business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their -- their love with women all across this country."
"I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep on the soil of a friend."
I COULD GO ON FOREVER....
This is what you call a stomach that has become big enough so you can't see your belt.
Mine was caused by chinese food and cider
Most blokes get it on their 30s if they're lazy like me. You slowly turn into Homer or your Dad.
It's great when you have kids though, they can fall asleep on it.
"Jeez Prem, haven't seen you in years, what's with the pot belly?"
"Living the good life and doing f*** all exercise."
The most wonderful thing to have ever been created from an apple.
Bittersweet apple juice fermented and then drunk, particularly in the summertime.
Get's you off your face quicker than beer.
Not gassy at all, so very easy to drink.
The best brands are Strongbow and Magners.
Makes beer taste like a tramp's scrotum.
The good Lord made apples for one reason - CIDER.
"When i die, i want to be embalmed in cider."
"Pint of Strongbow please, mate"
"Magners with ice please, mate"
I F###ING LOVE CIDER...!!!
Word of Indian origin. Tends to be more frequently used than the 'mother-fucker' equivalent.
It's up there as one of the top insults to people from the Indian sub-continent.
That ben chod over there tried to steal my pint.
Oi, ben chod, kiss my chadees!
I went to the bar to buy a pint and the ben chod asked me for I.D.
A place where you buy things you never thought you'd need.
A place where you sell things you never thought you could.
"what should i do with this snot-filled tissue?"
"why not sell it on ebay, last one went for £20"
"well, f*** me!"
What Americans call 'Physical Therapists' ot PTs.
Medically recognised treatment for various health problems including musculoskeletal problems, Neurological problems, Rheumatology etc.
'Physios' have been around in the UK for over 100 years and are the only professionals recognised by the National Health Service (NHS) - Chiropractors and Osteopaths are not and are alternative therapies.
"Shit, I've pulled something in my back..!"
"Go call a physiotherapist, they'll fix it up."