The Elixir of life. No greater destiny can be known by any leaf than this: that it should lay down its life as an infusion.
The British nation consumes a larger volume of water each day in tea than in every other domestic soft drink put together, including drinking water straight.
When they say we are a nation of tea drinkers, they're not taking the pee. (Although thanks to the diuretic properties of tea, shortly afterwards, most of us are.)
Brit 1: Fancy a cuppa?
Brit 2: Erm, what time is it?
Brit 1: 11:15.
Brit 2: Give me five minutes, I've just got to pee out the 10:30.
<vanishes, and promptly reappears looking happy.>
Brit 2: Bring it on. Milk, two sugars, and put it in a mug, not one of those girlie cups on saucers. Think Man Tea.
The process of celebrating the birth of a baby. Traditionally taking its name from the Christian baptismal rite, during which the head of a baby would be wet with blesed water, the phrase now commonly relates to the consumption of large amounts of alcohol as a celebration of the new arrival.
The actual process of wetting the baby's head is far more fun before the baby is born.
Bloke 1: check out the cans on that barmaid.
Bloke 2: Dude, you're married.
Bloke 1: Yeah, but...
Bloke 2: You're wife just had a kid.
Bloke 1: Yeah, well..
Bloke 2: We're here celebrating, to wet the baby's head.
Bloke 1: True. But she has got really nice cans.
Person with particular gifts for preparation and distribution of boiled leaf-based domestic beverages (see 'Tea'), whose key role in life is provision of said product to peers and superiors in response to simple imperatives such as 'make tea, bitch.' or 'oi, bitch, make Tea!') Necessary conditions include a hat that says 'Tea Bitch', and the propensity to dispute obligatory nature of teabitchery (e.g. by replying in the negative, with or without physical hand gestures) until offered appropriate alternatives such as a firm but kindly-meant slapping, or being sat on by someone passing flatulence. The term 'bitch', whilst most commonly applied to the female of the species, is in this unique context equally appropriate to either gender, so long as they a) have the hat, and b) will make tea.
Examples of a 'tea bitch' hat may be found at theboolery.co.uk, in the message board under 'tea bitchery', along with a pattern to print and make your own.
Forsooth, in pass'ed times, when derivations and defamations were thrice socially acceptable, ye olde opus, by the Lauret, William Shakespeare, Romeo & Juliet spake forth of great silliness. Among this tome's mighty characters was one Benvolio.
Thus, 13-year-olds in England were forc'ed to read of his stupidity and demise as part of their schooling, and thence cameth the childish and generally un-funny slur, 'Bumholio'.
Comic genius it aint. Aye me.
Kid: I hate Shakespeare. Miss, why do we have to read this? It's nonsense!
Teacher: STFU, Bumholio.
This axiom, regardless of its origins, has been common in post-victorian Britain as an abbreviation of 'to mind your manners' or, more specifically, to say both 'please' (p's) and 'thankyou' (thank-Q).
Thus the phrase 'watch your p's and q's' has been in use to encourage people to speak politely, especially children, who remember such phrases better than just instructions.
Kid 1: You spill my pint?
Kid 2: feck off!
Mum: Oi, watch you're p's and q's!
Kid 2: Sorry. Feck off, please.