1 definition by PapaXray

Top Definition
The Lakner is believed to be an ancient creature that takes the form of a human being or vice versa. Dating back to 900 B.C. there has been evidence of a creature approximately 15 feet tall with Blue/Gray fur, and has a human like stature. He has very long strong arms with two four fingered hands. Each finger has 4 inch claws that can cut through almost any known solid matter. His legs are very long and may be his most powerful asset, capable of reaching speeds upwards 85 mph and jumping up to 40 feet in the air and crossing a distance of 300 yards with a single leap. Crossing the path of the Lakner is almost always fatal. It is believed by historians and biblical scholars that the Lakner was the one that ate apple off of The Tree of Knowledge. There is no known way to kill or destroy the Lakner. There have been numerous sightings of the Lakner, the most recent was back in 2011 when a truck driver reported that he saw a creature between 10 feet and 15 feet tall with dark fur and glowing yellow eyes. It was said that the creature was chasing down a white sedan and then apparently leaped onto the vehicle, punched a hole in the roof and then proceeded to decapitate the passenger. The vehicle then drove into a ditch. When authorities arrived they found the car completely destroyed, with claw and bite marks all over the body and interior of the car, but the most disturbing thing they found was the that the bodies in the vehicle were completely torn to shreds.
"Holy fucking shit that wasn't a werewolf, that was a Lakner!"

"Sweet mother of Billy Mayes that thing killed Jimmy, I think it was the Lakner!"

"I can't believe I'm being mauled by a Lakner, I mean really what are the odds?"
by PapaXray May 03, 2012

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