1 definition by Orlok

Top Definition
Here is my response to Christian Death Metal article, by a guy that promotes it, AgeOfVengeance. My response is as follows: Everyone knows that Death Metal and Black Metal were founded against all religions in every single way, so mixing the two does not work. I have an idea of what we can do to these so called "metal christians", go back to the time of Nero, an anti-christian emperor of Rome, and cover them in tar, light them on fire and use them as lighting for the Wacken open-air festival. Then we will see if their "god" will save them then. Afterwards we could use their barbequed flesh as food for the other christian human stage lights. But I digress, as you might have noticed I have left the "G" in god and "C" in christianity lower case I do this because it is blasphemous. This type of music is almost as horrible as rap, if not worse. If you have noticed 95% of christian black and death metal are Western, from the western hemishpere were North and South America lie, so they need to travel to Europe and get their asses kicked on a nightly basis. We wonder why most of our fellow European Metalheads do not have a very high opinion of Western music for the most part. But here are a few of the holes in his one-sided theory:
1) By "*some*" he means most because all of the true death metal is anti-religion of any type.
2) This guy uses swear words every other word. True christians do not use foul language.
3) I know I am a dick I am not a friendly person.
4) I dont go on and on about how anti-christian I am, I go on and on about how much I am against all organized religion I am. Get it right Asshole!
5) I dont have my head shoved up my ass, if I could reach that far I would never leave the house because because my head definitley would not be up my ass it would somewhere else.
6) He claims that people like me don't know the first thing about metal. My first step-dad was convicted of grave-robbing, how metal of a crime is that? Also, metal was the only type of music I knew existed for the first 11 years of my life.
7) What he probably does'nt know is that Lamb of God's original name was Burn The Priest, also Randy Blythe, the lead singer, is against christianity.
8) The lead singer of Deicide, Glen Benton has an inverted crucifix branded on his forehead I think that diqualifies him from being a "fucktard" whatever in the hell that is supposed to be.
9) If one of these "fucktards" did go have sex with a sheep it would't be seen as something derogatory it would be seen as promotional and would get the band noticed. 10) Atheist have been around longer than christians, "christian haters" have been around since the creation of christianity hence the christian genocide that went on in ancient Rome.
11) christians have not fought harder than any other army because other non-christian armies have conguered more area and had richer empires than any christian empire. Example, the Mongolian Empire, and the Chinese Empire.
12) They are not "meaner" than anyone in any respect true christians say they have no intention of being "mean" against anyone. But one thing that does stick out in my mind is that Anton LaVey tought that if anyone bothers you ask them nicely to quit, then if thy don't destroy them. Also true christians by nature would rather forgive than to fight.
13) Non christians have been more persecuted for their beliefs than any other type of religion, thats why they had the crusades, the burning times, and the Salem witch trials.
14) That is another reason why I am anti-religion because he says "We're right." There is as much evidence to support Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, etc. as there is to support that this christian "god" exists, who's right no one knows for sure.
15) Most bands do not think they are badass because they hate "god" and wave around inverted crucifixes, they do it for show and to display their own personal beliefs.
16) We scream our "angsty shit views about god" because of guys like who I am writing in response to.
17) Any christian who smashes anyone's skull is commiting the ultimate sin, killing another human being, so even if they did who would get the last laugh then because if Hell is a real place that is where they would be sent and "Satan" would just love to his hands on a christian who killed somene for not being a christian.
18) Then his deifinition is just crazy because if anything the "good lil' christian boys" would get their asses kicked in a true death metal mosh pit.
So as you see I hope I have enlightened a few individuals and dis-spelled some this guys lies, which is another sin I may add.
Christian Death Metal . sucks
by Orlok January 25, 2007
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