5 definitions by Optomist with experience

Top Definition
Something that is depressing.

Can be anything, a person, movie, TV Show, your job etc.
I stopped watching the news because it's always such a downer.

That movie was great until the ending. What a downer.

Why does that guy always have to burden us with his problems? I mean, I hate seeming uncaring but he's such a downer.

by Optomist with experience December 17, 2007
Taking longer breaks at work then your employer allows you to. This is probably the one you'll hear the term refer to the most.

It supposedly costs employers huge amounts of money every year.

Time theft can also apply to the time it takes to:

Clean up other people's messes.
Delete spam.
Manager: Hmmm, Bobby took 2 minutes longer on his break then he was supposed to. I'm going to write him up.

Supervisor: He also helped two customers while he was on his way to his break. We should thank him for taking that time from his break rather then berate him for something as insignificant as two minutes.

Manager: That's still time theft. Bobby makes $7 an hour, that’s twenty-three point three cents a minute. Two minutes rounded up means he cost us forty-seven cents! If he did that every day a week for a year, assuming five days a week, that would cost us about one-hundred-twenty-one dollars over the course of a year!

Supervisor: Perhaps but isn’t that worth the price of a happy employee opposed to a stressed out employee? In the end, the happy employee will perform better. Besides, he always gets his work done and often gets quite a bit more accomplished. Maybe we should be happy for that instead of being picky. If we were talking him extending fifteen-minute breaks to thirty minutes and lunches to forty-five minutes then maybe.

Manager: You know what, you’re right. That much money is worth happy employees. Instead of writing him up, I’ll thank him for a job well done.
by Optomist with experience November 11, 2006
A more extreme version of mother fucker. Useful when events calling for a cry of mother fucker continue to happen for no logical reason.
After dropping something under a desk and then banging his head on the desk trying to get the dropped thing.
Person: Mother of all fuckers!
by Optomist with experience December 08, 2007
An amount of money that is well beyond pocket change or what you'd normally spend on any one thing but isn't in the same league expense wise as a new car or house.

An example could be a new computer that you might need to save up for a while to afford.

Another example might be eating at a really expensive restaurant. It's not costing you the same amount as a new computer, but it's still far more expensive then a typical meal.
Look, I think we're going to have to choose somewhere less expensive to eat. I love the food there but it costs a small fortune.

Yes, I know I need a new video card but I can't afford the small fortune that a lot of the ones you're recommending cost.
by Optomist with experience January 15, 2009
When a cat won't leave you alone.

Can be frustrating when you're trying to do something that requirs concentration.
This constant catassment is making it impossible to write this report!
by Optomist with experience January 01, 2008

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