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8 definitions by Octopusswah

 
1.
1. The Act of engaging in a mental fantasy concerning Maturbation resulting in accidental climax after having become EX-masturbatory (i.e. for Lent, Life, 5 minutes)

or more commonly...

2. The act of Masterbating to the thought of an Ex-Lover (usually accompanied by tears of lonliness and often hatred)
2 1/2. Or even Masturbating with an Ex-Lover.
3. And Finally Masturbating an Ex-Lover.
(Phone Conversation involving exsturbation)

No I'm fine Bill, I mean Yeah, I think about her sometimes but... you know... Its been a year now... yeah still a bit Angry, I mean Herpes doesn't just clear up over night you know..! (nervous laugh) ha, ha-ha... (gaining in volime) YEAH well I... I MEAN I EXSTURBATED-ALL-OVER-HER-FUCKING-CAR YESTERDAY...so yeah... feeling much better
by Octopusswah June 28, 2006
33 16
 
2.

Means a phallus. With attention drawn to meatiness, fleshiness and edibility. big giant squishy willy... oh yeah

Used by Jamie Theakston (he IS a celebrity, just a lame one).
"...and lo he drew forth his luncheon meat truncheon and jabbed at the gushing slot..."
by Octopusswah June 28, 2006
21 5
 
3.
A wad of any secretion emitted from a dog, such as drool, crap, urine, Dog-Jizz, snot, foam (rabid dog) etc
"You're going to have to wait Five more minutes... Snuffles blew a Dog-Wad on my wedding dress"

"I stepped in a Dog-Wad"

Vet: "if there is an excess of Dog-Wad issuing from Snuffles' mouth bring him back for a check-up"
by Octopusswah August 02, 2006
13 2
 
4.
A reaction to the pointing out of an injustice of the scale that one man could not change alone such as prejudice and bad goverment policy.
Can change 'God' to name of perpatraitor or potential rescuer for lesser situations.
"The Darfur massacres need to stop, someone needs to help the innocent villages that are being attacked"
"Your lips to Gods ears"

"If Muslim Women must worship under such strict regulation of clothing and behaviour, Surely Muslim Men should too?"
"Yours Lips to Gods Ears"

"Bus Tickets should be cheaper!"
"Your lips to Boris' ears"
by Octopusswah May 22, 2008
17 12
 
5.
An individual who somehow manages to be both Fat, and Annoying simultaneously.
"Look, it's Michael Moore,
how Fatnoying, someone have him removed."
by Octopusswah July 23, 2006
4 1
 
6.
It means lead me astray, show me, distract me, influence me, or tell me lies tell me sweet little lies.
Sometimes expressed in a similar tone to the phrase 'gimme a break'.
Overall, Take me away from what is happening how.
Me and my brother walk in on Mum Fellating Dad.
'Euugh sick, lead me on.'

My brother: 'I can fly kick Mum's freshly baked cake'
'Go on, Let's See, What are you waiting for, Lead me on'

Not a relation: 'I can induce orgasm using only my facial expressions'
'You can Lead me on'
by Octopusswah May 22, 2008
12 22
 
7.
Fucking annoying amalgamation of 'Squeeze' and 'Excuse me'.

Perhaps used to be cool, when I was about 5, but is now used by timid fat women at work who want you to move, are passive aggressive and go all red in the face before they say it because really they want to hit you in the head with a broken bottle.

Inside Timid Woman's Head:
"This fat fucking cunt I want to finger fuck her whole family"

Outloud in a high-pitched whine:
"Exsqueeze me"
perhaps some more 'e's can be added:
"Exqueeeeeeeeze me"
by Octopusswah June 29, 2006
43 64