171 definitions by Nicholas D
An exclamation that means that one believes the previous speaker's statement to be untrue. Synonyms include my ass, bullshit, horse shit, yeah right, get out of here, and "if I do say, my dear chap, I find your previous statement to be rather hard to believe."
Dad: "Young lady, it's 2 in the morning! Where have you been?"
Daughter: "Um, I was just over at Rick's house."
Dad: "My foot! What were you really doing?"
Daughter: "I was at his house for the big keg party. His parents were out of town."
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "So we had a kegstand contest and I won! 53 seconds! Then to celebrate I took 4 or 5 vodka shots."
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "Then I got in the bathroom and the guys lined up outside, and you know how that goes... then the Hell's Angels showed up, then about half of the Pittsburgh Steelers football team... my jaw is so tired."
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "Wow Dad those are some nice new shoes, they would look really good on - "
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "Yeah. Well anyway Steve was nice enough to stay sober and drive me home."
Dad: "Now that I believe, but the rest of your story was BULLSHIT! You were really at the library, weren't you?"
Daughter: "Yes, I was. I was studying for my history test on Monday."
Dad: "I am so disappointed in you! Go to your room!"
Daughter: "Um, I was just over at Rick's house."
Dad: "My foot! What were you really doing?"
Daughter: "I was at his house for the big keg party. His parents were out of town."
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "So we had a kegstand contest and I won! 53 seconds! Then to celebrate I took 4 or 5 vodka shots."
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "Then I got in the bathroom and the guys lined up outside, and you know how that goes... then the Hell's Angels showed up, then about half of the Pittsburgh Steelers football team... my jaw is so tired."
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "Wow Dad those are some nice new shoes, they would look really good on - "
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "Yeah. Well anyway Steve was nice enough to stay sober and drive me home."
Dad: "Now that I believe, but the rest of your story was BULLSHIT! You were really at the library, weren't you?"
Daughter: "Yes, I was. I was studying for my history test on Monday."
Dad: "I am so disappointed in you! Go to your room!"
by Nicholas D September 5, 2006
Waiter: "Now for our appetizer special, we've got escargot and haricots verts. For our dinner special, we've got coq au vin and filet mignon. Finally, for our dessert special, we've got creme brulee. First, here's an amuse-bouche from our chef."
Joe: "Sounds great. We'll have all the specials. For our appetizers, we'll get the freedom snails and the freedom beans. For our main courses, we'll get the freedom steak and the freedom...um...cock. And for our dessert, we'll split a bowl of the freedom cream. That freedom bite sure looks delicious!"
Joe: "Sounds great. We'll have all the specials. For our appetizers, we'll get the freedom snails and the freedom beans. For our main courses, we'll get the freedom steak and the freedom...um...cock. And for our dessert, we'll split a bowl of the freedom cream. That freedom bite sure looks delicious!"
by Nicholas D December 30, 2010
The Hispanic version of an Uncle Tom; a sellout to his people who likes to suck up to the white oppressors.
"Can you believe that punk Marco Gutierrez with his Latinos for Trump group? What a Tio Tomas!"
"Yeah no kidding. What's next, Blacks for David Duke?"
"Yeah no kidding. What's next, Blacks for David Duke?"
by Nicholas D September 5, 2016
Nick D (typing on Urban Dictionary): "My junk has been itching up a storm every since I chucked it in that dirty ska-"
Kanye West (interrupting): "Yo Nick D, I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish, but your definition of the shit out of was one of the best definitions describing something happening to a very large extent of all time! One of the best definitions of ALL TIME!" *shrugs*
Kanye West (interrupting): "Yo Nick D, I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish, but your definition of the shit out of was one of the best definitions describing something happening to a very large extent of all time! One of the best definitions of ALL TIME!" *shrugs*
by Nicholas D October 22, 2009
Short for investment banking, an industry devoted to squeezing money out of transactions, famous for paying a metric shitload, being filled with douchebags, and doing absolutely nothing for the benefit of society. It is amazing that anyone actually ends up in this industry, as you have to be very smart to get such a job, but very stupid to take it.
Common characteristics are:
1) 80-100+ hour weeks, rarely even a weekend day off. Although it pays a lot in absolute terms, if you consider it on a per-hour basis (including overtime pay), it's not too far above minimum wage.
2) Meaningless, tedious, mind-numbing work.
3) A constant false sense of urgency on all projects.
4) Bonuses almost as big and sometimes bigger than base salaries, that is if you survive until bonus time.
5) Ranking everyone in the firm on the scale {Analyst, Associate, Vice President, Director/Executive Director, Managing Director, and so on}, often even HR, secretaries, and sanitation workers. Contradictorily, an "Analyst" in HR doesn't analyze anything, and a "Vice President" really isn't very important or high up at all.
6) Consistently recruits top college graduates into voluntary sweatshop-like slave labor camps called "Analyst programs."
Common characteristics are:
1) 80-100+ hour weeks, rarely even a weekend day off. Although it pays a lot in absolute terms, if you consider it on a per-hour basis (including overtime pay), it's not too far above minimum wage.
2) Meaningless, tedious, mind-numbing work.
3) A constant false sense of urgency on all projects.
4) Bonuses almost as big and sometimes bigger than base salaries, that is if you survive until bonus time.
5) Ranking everyone in the firm on the scale {Analyst, Associate, Vice President, Director/Executive Director, Managing Director, and so on}, often even HR, secretaries, and sanitation workers. Contradictorily, an "Analyst" in HR doesn't analyze anything, and a "Vice President" really isn't very important or high up at all.
6) Consistently recruits top college graduates into voluntary sweatshop-like slave labor camps called "Analyst programs."
Vice President #1: "SHIT!!! I'm going to have to spend all weekend getting this investor request done!!!"
Vice President #2: "Calm down man, it's not due back to them til the end of next week!"
VP #1: "NO, it needs to be done NOW!!! Where are all those analysts we hired? One of them can do the mindless bitch work."
VP #2: "Um, one committed suicide, two ended up in the mental ward, and another drowned in the huge pool of bullshit."
VP #1: "DAMN IT!!! We need to hire a new one. How about that janitor analyst Joe?"
VP #2: "Um...I guess so..."
VP #1: "Hey Joe, do you want a job as a corporate finance I-banking analyst here at Goldman Sachs? We'll pay you $60,000 base and you'll probably get $60,000 more in bonus. All we need from you is to give up every waking hour of your life, your health, and your soul."
Joe: "No thanks, I'd rather unclog toilets. Besides, I already make $8 an hour - I don't want to take a pay cut."
VP #1: "OH SHIT!!! WE'RE SO SCREWED!!! This needs to get done NOW!!!"
VP #2: "Whatever man, just make Nick D do it."
Vice President #2: "Calm down man, it's not due back to them til the end of next week!"
VP #1: "NO, it needs to be done NOW!!! Where are all those analysts we hired? One of them can do the mindless bitch work."
VP #2: "Um, one committed suicide, two ended up in the mental ward, and another drowned in the huge pool of bullshit."
VP #1: "DAMN IT!!! We need to hire a new one. How about that janitor analyst Joe?"
VP #2: "Um...I guess so..."
VP #1: "Hey Joe, do you want a job as a corporate finance I-banking analyst here at Goldman Sachs? We'll pay you $60,000 base and you'll probably get $60,000 more in bonus. All we need from you is to give up every waking hour of your life, your health, and your soul."
Joe: "No thanks, I'd rather unclog toilets. Besides, I already make $8 an hour - I don't want to take a pay cut."
VP #1: "OH SHIT!!! WE'RE SO SCREWED!!! This needs to get done NOW!!!"
VP #2: "Whatever man, just make Nick D do it."
by Nicholas D April 27, 2007
Al Gore: "Governor Bush, you are not going to nap this election!"
George W. Bush: "Oh yes I am. Heh heh heh!"
Girl: "I'm going to run to the ladies' room. Watch my purse while I'm gone."
Guy: "OK."
(Girl goes to restroom, someone steals purse)
Girl: "Where's my purse?"
Guy: "Some sketchy-looking dude came by and purse-napped. Sorry."
Girl: "What? I told you to watch it!"
Guy: "I did. I was watching the entire time the guy was napping it! What did you want me to do, stop him?"
Girl: "Yes!!!"
Guy: "Oh, well you should have said that earlier."
George W. Bush: "Oh yes I am. Heh heh heh!"
Girl: "I'm going to run to the ladies' room. Watch my purse while I'm gone."
Guy: "OK."
(Girl goes to restroom, someone steals purse)
Girl: "Where's my purse?"
Guy: "Some sketchy-looking dude came by and purse-napped. Sorry."
Girl: "What? I told you to watch it!"
Guy: "I did. I was watching the entire time the guy was napping it! What did you want me to do, stop him?"
Girl: "Yes!!!"
Guy: "Oh, well you should have said that earlier."
by Nicholas D February 27, 2009
The white version of a bitch nigga. Someone who talks a big game and gossips a lot but backs down at the first sign of a fight. If you make it big in the game, they will suck up to you to try to get some of your money. Bitch crackaz are weak and have been known to engage in such mark-ass activities as taking bubble baths and using their bitch's blush to cover up a pistol whip wound.
Connor: "How are you on this fine morning, Madeline?"
Madeline: "Why, rather swell, Connor. I have some rather disturbing news from you, however. I heard from Emily that Blake was verbally disparaging you. He said that your racquetball game was mediocre at best and that you performed rather poorly at last week's poetry reading. Furthermore, he thinks you are a hypocrite since you claim to eat only organic free-range chicken but he saw you go into KFC the other day."
Connor: "Well I never! I shall confront that scoundrel!"
(later)
Connor: "You fool! How dare you sully my good name? We must engage in fisticuffs at once!"
Blake: "Nonsense, my good chap. I did nothing of the sort. Let's bury the hatchet and set up a tee time at the country club for next weekend."
Connor: "Silence! I believe Dr. Dre put it most eloquently: 'So many crackaz like to keep up shit, and just like a bitch, crackaz be talkin' shit. Smilin' in my face and then you blast me in the back, crackaz stay strapped from way back, cuz payback'll make crackaz wanna pop that shit. If you ain't ready for the game, cracka stop that shit'...well, I'm not going to recite it all, but he finishes with, 'If you act like a bitch, then you smacked like a bitch!' That is precisely what will be your fate! Please note that I replaced all instances of the N-word with the C-word since you are white. Indeed, you, sir, are a bitch cracka! Get over here! I'm going to slap you silly!"
Madeline: "Why, rather swell, Connor. I have some rather disturbing news from you, however. I heard from Emily that Blake was verbally disparaging you. He said that your racquetball game was mediocre at best and that you performed rather poorly at last week's poetry reading. Furthermore, he thinks you are a hypocrite since you claim to eat only organic free-range chicken but he saw you go into KFC the other day."
Connor: "Well I never! I shall confront that scoundrel!"
(later)
Connor: "You fool! How dare you sully my good name? We must engage in fisticuffs at once!"
Blake: "Nonsense, my good chap. I did nothing of the sort. Let's bury the hatchet and set up a tee time at the country club for next weekend."
Connor: "Silence! I believe Dr. Dre put it most eloquently: 'So many crackaz like to keep up shit, and just like a bitch, crackaz be talkin' shit. Smilin' in my face and then you blast me in the back, crackaz stay strapped from way back, cuz payback'll make crackaz wanna pop that shit. If you ain't ready for the game, cracka stop that shit'...well, I'm not going to recite it all, but he finishes with, 'If you act like a bitch, then you smacked like a bitch!' That is precisely what will be your fate! Please note that I replaced all instances of the N-word with the C-word since you are white. Indeed, you, sir, are a bitch cracka! Get over here! I'm going to slap you silly!"
by Nicholas D November 6, 2009