2 definitions by Nathaniel822

Raccoons are nature’s juggernauts. After doing research, I found a list of some of the best traits about them from a trustworthy researcher called “reccooneggs”, which is his birth name. (though they have many more special traits)

Reason 1: He protec but he also attac
Reason 2:They naturally regenerate limbs. Need to whip up a quick dinner? Just chop off a raccoons leg.
Reason 3: They’re obedient. Want someone dead? A raccoon will kill them James Bond style no questions asked.
Reason 4: Racoon Urine cures cancer
Reason 5: Theyre really good at video games. Are you a copper IV in rainbow six siege? They’ll carry you all they way up to diamond.
Reason 6: Need protection against someone with a gun? Raccoons are naturally bulletproof.
Reason 7: Raccoons can DESTROY any animal in a 1v1.
Reason 8: People see you walking a dog? They ignore you. People see you walking a raccoon? Looks like you just got a get-out-of-virgin-free card.
Reason 9: Raccoon feces cure hepatitis.
Reason 10: Just look at them, they’re adorable.
Dude I almost got killed yesterday. Thankfully I had my pet raccoon Ralph to save me from the shooter so my raccoon could lunge onto him and kill him!
by Nathaniel822 June 25, 2018
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Shouldn’t even be allowed to be part of the United States of America.
Did you guys see how they don’t allow large magazine sizes in California? You think that’ll stop a bad guy from illegally using one?
by Nathaniel822 June 25, 2018
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