8 definitions by Mr. Asshole

Top Definition
Fudgems is the mascot for Dominos Pizza' newest promotional offer. 10 oven baked brownie squares with the purchase of any large pizza at the regular menu price. Fudgems resembles a furry cube of feces with arms and legs. There are no disernable eyes, ears, nose, or sexual organs. This lack of sensory organs has led scientists to believe that Fudgems was genetically engineered by Dominos Pizza Corp. and thus violating several U.S. Genetics Laws. The Surgeon General also warns that although not verified, it is possible that the oven baked brownie squares are the solid waste matter produced by Fudgems.
Mmm mmm, I love that Fudgems. Too bad I get the shits every time I eat them.
by Mr. Asshole August 24, 2006
Brother of the popular character Jack Bauer from the series 24. Assumed dead, Matt Bauer is an assasin working for "Chapter", a U.S. "black-ops" program. Matt Bauer has killed 140 men, and he enjoyed every single kill. Matt prides himself on killing his targets in varying creative ways such as: using a pizza cutter to slash victims throat, focing subject to consume an entire bottle of Dave's Insanity Hot Sauce.

Unlike Jack Bauer's classic line" Damn, there's no time!",
Matt also has a signature line:"Damn, I'm hungry."
Agent A - Sir, Matt Bauer just killed 10 innocent people inside a McDonalds because they forgot to put ketchup in his bag.

Agent B - No ketchup? Those bastards!!!
by Mr. Asshole August 24, 2006
One who rides Microsoft Excel all day. Taking bad pictures in poor lighting and writing up bullshit descriptions of stuff your boss wants put upon eBay.
"Hey Alex, Paul wants 40 things up on eBay today."

"Well ok I'll just re-use 50 things these deadbeat auction winners never paid for"

"You truly are, a lazy eBay bitch, Alex."
by Mr. Asshole January 23, 2007
Derived from a common practice among German prostitutes. The customer pays for and expects to get a blow job. The whore goes down and rubs his dick on her face/neck and gives an occasional tug on the ol'tube-steak, but they never actually perform the blow job. Afterward, they not only take your money, but they say it'll be double for a real blowjob. Those blooding fucking German cunt ass whores!!!
Person 1- Check it, I hooked up with this tall nice German hooker. The bitch gave me a Fo Job!!

Person 2- What? Are you fo real? A fuck'n Fo Job?!!

Person 1- Sheeeeeeeet! I I was so fuck'n pissed, I bitch slapped that nazi hooka!
by Mr. Asshole August 24, 2006
This word can refer to and be used in place of any noun in the english language. Usually used to substitute for an unkown word when the speaker or writer is confused about the proper noun. This word was first used in 1964 when "Screwy Louie" asked a padestriant for directions to some place he couldnt recall the name of.
Person 1- Um, could you tell me how to get to the Wachacallit?

Person 2- Sure. Just stand in the middle of the road, bend over, and grab your ancles.

Person 1- Thanks Mr.
by Mr. Asshole August 24, 2006
The state of a cock that has just been ridden the shit out of.
Holy shit man, she fucked me so hard I had a Limp Jizzkit for days.
by Mr. Asshole August 08, 2006
When scumbags who ride the Baltimore MTA decide to show off their hardward; exchanging guns in an attempt to intimidate the other passengers. The participants will often eye-up the other passengers while smiling and sneering at them with the occasional, "what the fuck you look'n at motherfucker"
I was so scared after show-n-tell, that I had to go piss behind the woods in the parking lot after I got of the train.
by Mr. Asshole March 20, 2007
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