Monkey's Dad's definitions

9 minutes of silence

Observed by many, across America, to honor the life of George Floyd, murdered by asphyxiation.

In the sunlight of a spring afternoon, they stood together, side by side, and held a vigil - 9 minutes of silence - the time that George Floyd was pinned to the street and asphyxiated by the kneeling weight of a Minneapolis cop.

by Monkey's Dad June 2, 2020

2020WTF

A vanity license plate, issued in Maine.

She stared numbly through the rain coursing down her windshield, wondering if she were dreaming. There it really was, on the car in front of her, the truth of her life this year, the truth of everyone's life. 2020WTF.

by Monkey's Dad December 7, 2020

Does Not Match

Mysteriously appearing in response to your user name, your password, your email, all of which you have entered correctly.

He typed his email for the fourth time, slowly and carefully, and again got the message: "does not match". He hit 'forget your password?' They could send him a temporary one, no problem. First, he needed to enter his email address.

by Monkey's Dad April 20, 2020

Cellphie

A photograph of one's self made with a cell phone, ie; almost any selfie.

Whether in front of the Hollywood sign or the Mona Lisa, her iPhone 11 was poised, ready on moment's notice to make another of her trademark cellphies.

by Monkey's Dad October 9, 2019

Last Man on Earth

Effectively, the man any woman happens to be with, under lockdown, for the duration of the coronaviral era.

"You have complaints? Please, feel free to find someone else, because right now I may as well be the last man on earth."

by Monkey's Dad March 30, 2020

long distance relationslump

The toll on a couple normally kept apart by distance, now further separated by travel restrictions.

Their New York-L.A. thing had felt dynamic, sharing best-of-both with alternating weeks. After months of facetime but no actual faces, and no actual bodies, they were in a long distance relationslump.

by Monkey's Dad April 17, 2020

impeccably ill-mannered

The quality of knowing how to offend and alienate as many people, in as short a time, as possible.

He was their new neighbor, so comprehensively offensive to everybody that within a couple of weeks of his arrival he was a laughing stock. No one wanted him there. No one was speaking to him, or ever would. He had trained hard to become what he was - impeccably ill-mannered. It was a talent given to few.

by Monkey's Dad May 10, 2021