Monkey's Dad's definitions

sects axe

What religious dyslexics do with each other in the privacy of their bedroom.

They kept a diary detailing their devout if kinky sects axe, confident that if it were ever discovered, no one could decipher it.

by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020

Facial Recognition

1) A technology rendered obsolete by Covid.
2) A quaint human interaction, from the time when people could see another person's face, know whom they were looking at, and respond with feeling.

He saw a sort of female person standing in front of him. She had her ear pods in and was speaking to someone who was not there. She was wearing a mask, as required by law and by custom, large sunglasses and a hat. He saw a small patch of skin - her cheeks - and longing for that old feeling once termed facial recognition, he believed it might or might not be Sarah.

by Monkey's Dad December 30, 2020

Coney

1) An early name for “rabbit.” Historically rhyming with honey, it derives from the French conil, from the Latin cunīculus.

2) The maiden name of Amy Coney Barrett, the present nominee for Supreme Court justice.

It's Coney, but PLEASE do NOT rhyme it with 'honey', which will yield the Olde English slang for female genitalia.

by Monkey's Dad October 14, 2020

Darnella Frazier

The young woman whose eyewitness video of the George Floyd killing by former police officer Derek Chauvin in Minneapolis on May 25, 2020, became a crucial artifact of American history.

Only 17 at the time, Darnella Frazier is to the Floyd killing what Abraham Zapruder was to the assassination of John F. Kennedy, an accidental bystander with a camera, a vital witness to an historic moment. Ms. Frazier's video of the arrest, which recorded Floyd's plea - I can't breathe - as Chauvin knelt on his neck for more than 9 minutes, sparked protests across the country. A witness at Chauvin's murder trial, Ms. Frazier expressed regret for not physically confronting Mr. Chauvin. “It’s been nights I stayed up apologizing and apologizing to George Floyd for not doing more and not physically interacting and not saving his life,” Ms. Frazier said.

by Monkey's Dad March 31, 2021

verisimehlitude

A work of art so enslaved to the reality of its source that it elicits no response.

The sculptor had worked very hard to do this. His sculpture was exactly life-sized, colored and textured to precisely replicate the thing it was imitating, and, standing in the gallery, it looked like a living, breathing security guard. Except that it was not breathing, nor was it living, nor did anyone recognize it as a work of art. Or feel anything about it. Or pay it any mind. An example of craft for craft's sake, it had achieved a state of verisimehlitude.

by Monkey's Dad June 22, 2021

OMC

Shock at testing positive for the Omicron variant of Covid.

"I sincerely hope you're fully vaccinated"
"Who? Me? ... Why?"
"Your test came back positive. But relax. It will only kill you if you're unvaccinated,"
"OMC"
"OMG! Please tell me..."
"I mean... I figured... if Marjorie Taylor Greene didn't get the shot... or wear a mask... no need, right?"

by Monkey's Dad December 31, 2021

formerly-known-as

Your X - or ex - with a nod to the convolutions of Twitter.

"Check out the babe."
"No need. ... She's my formerly-known-as"
"Sorry."

by Monkey's Dad November 2, 2023