Monkey's Dad's definitions

deranged loser

An expression of the utmost dignity and grace, not to be mistaken for projection when used to characterize a perceived enemy.

“I don’t know what Kellyanne did to her deranged loser of a husband,” the president tweeted, “but it must have been really bad.”

by Monkey's Dad July 12, 2020

Simultemporal

The nature of time as being simultaneous rather than sequential or linear. The experience of living time all at once, of past and future being equally present and equidistant.

The simultemporal experience was transformative, providing clarification of issues as diverse as the questions of free will and destiny, and the nature of death.

by Monkey's Dad September 18, 2019

minimal

Any mammal which has been shrunken by careful breeding, for maximum cuteness and portability.

"Why is that Guinea Pig on a leash?" she wondered, before coming close enough to see that it was a full-grown, two-pound minimal, the smallest dog she had ever seen. She had to have one.

by Monkey's Dad March 16, 2020

WE CAN BREATHE

The collective exhalation of relief following the guilty verdicts in the trial of Derek Chauvin for the murder of George Floyd. Floyd's last words, I can't breathe, had become the mantra of injustice in a country where police killings of unarmed Black men are routine and have gone largely unpunished.

As the three verdicts were read - guilty - guilty - guilty - millions of Americans, across the spectrum of race, ethnicity and economic status, suddenly felt WE CAN BREATHE.

by Monkey's Dad April 21, 2021

Isolationship

Long- or short-distance relationship between two people kept apart due to shelter-in-place constraints.

Their hot and heavy isolationship was getting weird, the limits of cyber romance coming clear. She lived three blocks away from him, they hadn't been able to see the other for two weeks, each of them trapped in their apartments.

by Monkey's Dad April 9, 2020

toll

A cost in lives.

Damage resulting from an event or practice.

Charge for a service or permission.

The sound of a bell rung at a steady interval.

The tolls from coronavirus will be great, many and enduring, and the bells will toll for the dead.

by Monkey's Dad April 5, 2020

Apptitude

The reflexive belief that "there is an app for everything", eclipsing the experience of simply being alive in the world.

They were in the woods on a sunny spring day. He was looking at the light streaming through the branches. She, having apptitude, was staring at her phone.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I want to know where we are" she answered.

"We are here" he sighed.

by Monkey's Dad April 28, 2021