Monkey's Dad's definitions

Quaranteenager

A person coming of age in the coronaviral age, home-schooled, missing out on dating, beer, pot and every other rite of social passage.

Watching "Clueless", "Ladybird" and "Booksmart" while in lockdown, she yearned to experience the geeky teen years which were her birthright and hated-hated-hated being a dorky quaranteenager.

by Monkey's Dad March 28, 2020

omniincidence

All things happening at the same time.

An opening and broadening of the concept of coincidence.

It had seemed a coincidence to board the plane and to find, through conversation, that he was seated beside the brother of the musician he was traveling to L.A. to record with. Years later, as the three of them finished their run at the Beacon, they laughed, agreeing that the concerts, the flight, the albums and everything in between were one, an omniincidence, events without sequence.

by Monkey's Dad November 23, 2021

abstruct

An abstract construct. How the once-real world feels to many, after weeks of social distancing and lockdown.

She knew they were real people on her screen, during the zoom meeting, sorta. The truth was, she saw it as an abstruct, which she hoped no one could tell.

by Monkey's Dad May 24, 2020

Snake Lunch

The lowest state of being a person can attain, far lower than merely becoming 'toast'.

He felt certain that, after the multiple convictions which were looming, the 'leading candidate' would be snake lunch.

by Monkey's Dad November 23, 2023

The Center of Our Happiness

In an erotically blessed couple, the woman's clitoris, focus of all devotion, from which emanates such intense energy, joy and transcendent oneness that her lover can think of nothing else. ... Excuse me. What were you saying?

In the middle of the day, apropos of nothing, she suddenly blurted, "the center of our happiness" and he knew exactly what she was craving.

by Monkey's Dad December 14, 2022

Repodemic

A pandemic, threatening to repossess the life and the world we thought we owned, because we didn't honor our end of the bargain.

So much that they had loved was gone, swiftly taken back in a massive repodemic.

by Monkey's Dad April 6, 2020

The full MTG

Delusional derangement worthy of Marjorie Taylor Greene. Craziness on par with believing that the Sandy Hook massacre was staged, that Trump is a Messiah sent by God to smite the Democratic child-killers lurking under the pizza parlor, and indeed that he "won" the election. To clarify; that Adam Lanza did not kill any children but that Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden regularly do so.

Have you spoken to Lauren recently? She's gone the full MTG.

by Monkey's Dad February 2, 2021