When you really have to shit and you sit on the toilet for an hour grunting and pushing but can't shit. Finally you squeeze out a small rock turd and thats all you do.
Aaron: Sorry to keep you waiting. I have had a major anus strangle-hold today.
chocomaniac is when you devour everything/anything that is chocolate. The craze that happens during your chocolate frenzy.
Madeline is going bonkers with that 5 lb Hershey bar that she got for her birthday. Yes, she is definitley a chocomaniac and she is going to get herself sick.
comedication is the act of communicating through the art of comedy.
That Andy sure can't have a normal conversation. I think he suffers from comedication. He always has to throw in a stupid joke just to answer a simple question.
Q: Andy, do you know what time it is?
A: Yeah, it's half past a monkey's ass, quarter to his balls. No, it's really 9:45 am.
pitch-in pride perker is a person who "sacrifices" themselves at pitch-in dinners. At a pitch-in dinner someone always brings in something that looks or sounds terrible, they are the ones who take a slice so the person who brought it doesn't know that their food is gross.
Johnny - " What the Hell is that pile of crap over on that platter?"
Alan - " That is my grandma's "Pig intestines stuffed with gopher milk. I am taking a slice just so Granny doesn't start crying. I won't eat it, just remove it from the platter and throw it away.
Johnny- Man you are one "pitch-in pride perker
", I wish I could be more like you.
balls to drop is a term for lack of courage. A reward for an act of courage your "balls could drop". Turning you from a boy to a man.
Steve: I am not going to jump off the diving board. I don't even know how to swim.
Ryan: Come on man, get those balls to drop.
Steve (jumps and swims): that wasn't too bad, I did fine.
Ryan: Congratulations, I think at 45 years old, your balls have officially dropped. Your voices sounds deeper too.
Shirtain is when your wife hangs up all the wet shirts from the washer to air dry on a overhead door ledge.
Dammit !!! Every time i walk through the shirtain half of the shirts fall off and i need to pick them up. I wish she would just get a clothes line outside.
Vapor lock is when you eat something hot (like hot salsa). After the first bite, your tongue goes numb and you constantly hiccup for 10 minutes. Then things settle down and you can eat the rest of your salsa then.
1- Matt are you OK?
2- No, I have serious Vapor Lock
.I just had some (hiccup) of Andy's Fire Salsa (hiccup) and I am lit up (hiccup).
1- Can get you any thing?
2- How about some more salsa and later you can get me a snow-cone to cool my ass off.