Mitchell man's definitions

eSlap

eSlap is an online bitch slap. Normally from someone correcting an email you sent out and sending it to everyone in their address book to make you look bad.

Tim: Hey everyone don't go to XYZ restaurant because I heard they are stealing credit card information.

Jim: Dear Everyone,I saw this on SNOPES and this isn't true. Tim,you need to get your facts straight before sending us emails.

Tim: Damn, I feel like I just got eSlapped. I was just trying to do everyone a favor.

by Mitchell Man February 6, 2009

Jared Poop

When you have to poop so bad you pull off from the highway to shit.

The other day I was going to explode so I did a Jared Poop. Luckily no one drove by when I did it.

by Mitchell man February 28, 2008

Gatlin Gun

Gatlin gun is multiple pelvic thrusts while ejecting yourself from a chair. Normally a sound effect is acceptable (bam,bam,.........bam).

While Aaron was getting out of his seat. He yelled to Jared and said "Gatlin Gun" bam,bam,.........bam!!!!

by Mitchell man May 21, 2008

vapor lock

Vapor lock is when you eat something hot (like hot salsa). After the first bite, your tongue goes numb and you constantly hiccup for 10 minutes. Then things settle down and you can eat the rest of your salsa then.

1- Matt are you OK?
2- No, I have serious Vapor Lock.I just had some (hiccup) of Andy's Fire Salsa (hiccup) and I am lit up (hiccup).
1- Can get you any thing?
2- How about some more salsa and later you can get me a snow-cone to cool my ass off.

by Mitchell man August 20, 2008

fish'n shits

When you spend the day shitting on the edge of the boat because you drank too much beer the night before.

fish'n shits
Jared: Wow!!! that's my 10th keeper bass today. Tim, how many have you caught?
Tim: I caught me a bad case of fish'n shits. I can't even get to my pole. Hey!! hand me a cigarette!

by Mitchell Man July 2, 2008

TTC

Turd Touching Cotton

When someone has to poop so bad that the turd breaks thru the asshole and touches your underwear (but not quite pooping your pants)

Jared had to poop so bad he was TTC'ing. So he found the nearest field to pull a Jared poop.

by Mitchell man May 15, 2008

anus strange-hold

When you really have to shit and you sit on the toilet for an hour grunting and pushing but can't shit. Finally you squeeze out a small rock turd and thats all you do.

anus strange-hold
Aaron: Sorry to keep you waiting. I have had a major anus strangle-hold today.

by Mitchell Man July 1, 2008