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Merchant's definitions

Minmeister Kartoffel Kompfen

Minmeister Kartoffel Kompfen means Mister Potato Head in German. Usually combined with other random German words and phraises to be shouted at strangers to intimidate or scare them in a comic manor.
Kommen ze hier so iz to flichen jer kompfen und svindel uppen, minmeister kartoffel kompfen!! screamed the young man at the old woman who immediate dropped her bag and ran like Michael Jackson being chased by Arnold Schwartzenegger in the role of Kindergarden Cop.
by Merchant August 30, 2005
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Xbox

The videogame console for morons which is completely inferior to Sony's Playstation 2 and even 1 as well as Dreamcast and gamecube (while i hate nintendo, Resident Evil 4 does kick ur ass).
"Hi I'm Billy Xbox and I'm a moron!" "Hi I'm Playstation Pete and I say fuck you assgoblin!"
by Merchant August 31, 2005
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donkey porker

Someone who repeatedly has sexual intercourse with a donkey. Or a synonym for dumbass, moron, retard, asshole, jerk, or bastard.
"What a donkey porker you are, Hanley!"
by Merchant August 31, 2005
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Bunnygirl

A waitress, prostitute, anime character, videogame character, or average girl who wears a costume which consists of a bunnyears hairband, a fluffy bunnytail, and sometimes a bowtie and tuxedo wrist-cuffs. Bunnygirl outfits are usually intended to be sexually arousing.
"That girl looked so cute in that bunnygirl outfit..."
by Merchant August 30, 2005
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UMP

A 9mmparabellum and .45ACP caliber submachinegun manufactured by Heckler & Koch, Germany. Also the sound Ted Kennedy makes if you knee him in the scrotum.
THWACK! "UMP!" Bingo!
by Merchant August 31, 2005
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Strippiest

What Grampa Simpson used to describe a "new age stripper wife" in an episode in which they conned people out of their money for a while. Grampa was acting out in a con pretending to win a million dollars when he said 'I'm going to get me one of those new age stripper wives, it'll be the strippiest, wifiest-' then stopped to fake his own demise in a heartattack.
"Hey Jim has one of those newage stripper wives!" "How is it Jim?" "She's the strippiest, wifiest, best damn thing to ever happen to a sack of crap like myself, thats for damn sure!"
by Merchant August 31, 2005
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Reticulin

Also known as a Grey, these aliens have large upsidedown-seed shaped heads, black slanted seed-shaped eyes, tiny slits for mouths, usually no nose or nostrils, tend to be about three and a half feet tall, communicate through telepathy, and tend to reportedly smell like plain cinnamon and wet cardboard. They are called Reticulins because they supposedly come from the Zeta Reticuli star systems.
The Reticulin seemed to move slowly so the Sarge took his chances and cracked a heavy baseball bat over its head, snapping its neck and crushing its skull.
by Merchant August 31, 2005
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