1 definition by Mech-lecter

Top Definition
A practice descrobed by "comedian" Tom Shillue on RedEye in reference to video footage of an Iranian soccer team that resulted in Islamic immorality charges with a possible fine, prison term, and lashes. Presumably, Mr. Shillue has extensive experience with the practice, which is named for a combination charlie-horse/cornhole, not a real person by that name

The "Charlie Cornheiser" involves patting a fellow player on the buttocks in a seemingly innocuous manner common in any athletic celebration then sliding the hand up into the junkal region for a cheap grope.

The "Cornheiser" is not a quick, accidental contact. It is an obviously intentional act that involves lingering, cuppage, squeezing, and/or an attempt to turn the recipient into a "human puppet." (ref. professional sidekick, Bill Schulz).

According to an official of the Iranian Football Federation (which imposed a fine of $40,000.00 on the both the Charlie Cornheis-er and the unwilling Charlie Cornheis-ee):

"...this action can be considered a violation of public chastity. The punishment of this crime is prison up to two months and 74 lashes."

In the U.S. and Europe, the Charlie Cornheiser is far less serious, resulting in a fist to the face, a sexual harassment suit, or drinks and "whatever happens next."
After the goal, Tom, jumped atop the writhing mound of joyous team mates, only to find himself the recipient of a (not entirely) unwelcome Charlie Cornheiser that was so enthusiastic it required the use of a special doughnut-shaped seat cushion for the next 9 days.
by Mech-lecter November 03, 2011

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