(n) A line of broke-down 15-year-old pickup trucks driving 10-under the speed limit, or slower, in the left lane on a divided interstate highway. Frequently the pickup behind is mere inches from the pickup in front. You may see the driver (typically male) shouting angrily through his toothless lips.
I couldn't pass for 30 miles when I was driving in Kansas, due to the Hillbilly Parade in the left lane.
n. a quick 5-minute wash in a sink or shower, undertaken by a male, to ensure specific key areas of the body are at their very freshest before meeting up with members of the opposite sex. Can be paired with a titsenpits, or done independently.
Also known as crack'n'sack, crack-n-sack, or crack & sack.
I was running late to meet my girlfriend, so I went with a quick crackensack instead of a full shower.