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Maxwell Dope's definitions

THE SALAD GLOVE®

(noun) a glove, developed by the band Andrew Jackson Jihad, that is used to eat salad whilst avoiding dangerous forks and messy cleanups
(noun) a useful eating utensil that is latex-free and one-size-fits-all
(noun) an easy and clean tool that enables you to FIST FUCK YOUR HUNGER™
(noun) that shit you can buy that, along with your iPod, you can sell to Bookmans when your wife dies and you lose your job (from the song People II: Still Peoplin' by Andrew Jackson Jihad)
**Tuesday 1:30pm - Two young men are sitting in a corner booth at Denny's - Max is frustrated with his Caesar salad**

Max: I know I'm being a bitch, but don't you think eating croutons with a fork is next to impossible and fucking annoying?
Tim: Dude, you need THE SALAD GLOVE®.
by Maxwell Dope November 14, 2013
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the McRuns

The medical condition known by doctors as diarrhea which comes as a direct result of a late-night McRun.
Max: Holy shit Tim! We shouldn't have gone on that McRun last night!

Tim: What's the matter?

Max: That McRun gave me a NASTY case of the McRuns!!
by Maxwell Dope November 9, 2013
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drop a Mick

(verb) to take a trip late at night to a shitty fast food restaurant because nothing better is open; (verb) to go on a McRun
Max: Tim, you hungry?
Tim: Yeah, but nothing's open.
Max: Wanna drop a Mick?
Tim: Yeah, a McRun actually sounds pretty good right now.
Max: McDonalds or Taco Bell?
Tim: Micky D's. Taco Bell always gives me the McRuns!
by Maxwell Dope November 11, 2013
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to both

(verb) to defecate and urinate in the same sitting
**Near the end of a long road trip through the worst part of Florida**

Max: Dude, I can't wait to get there. I gotta go so bad!

Tim: Should I pull over?

Max: Nah, I'll wait cuz I need to both.

Tim: Oh, I thought you had to piss.

Max: Nah. I gotta both.
by Maxwell Dope January 30, 2015
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milves

(plural noun) the plural form of the acronym MILF, the singular form of which was popularized in the 1999 hit movie American Pie 1
**Max and Tim are wandering around IKEA**

Max: I'm telling you man, this is the best place to pick up chicks.
Tim: I dunno about that. This is pretty weird, Max.
Max: What do you mean?! This place is full of milves!
Tim: Yeah, but it's a total kidsty.
by Maxwell Dope January 22, 2014
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catch-me-if-you-can

(verb) to con your way into a job/role/situation like Leonardo DiCaprio's character in the movie "Catch Me If You Can"
**At the grocery store, Max is comparing prices to find the cheapest oatmeal. Tim stands by.**

Max: This is bullshit. I need a job.
Tim: I think they're hiring for cashiers here.
Max: Meh. I want a GOOD job. I'll just catch-me-if-you-can my way into being a doctor or something.
Tim: Do it.

**Four months later, "Dr. Max" is arrested and charged for manslaughter, but is set free by "Warden Tim" who catch-me-if-you-canned his way into an interesting new career.**
by Maxwell Dope November 18, 2013
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wifey from another lifey

(noun) a woman who could have been your perfect match if circumstances were different/more ideal
**Inside Trader Joe's - Breakfast Aisle - Friday 5:45pm**

Max: Whaddya think, Tim? Organic Cinnamon Spice Oatmeal or Fat Free Blueberry Muesli?
Tim: Go with the Muesli. Oh shit! 6 o'clock by the avos. Don't look now...

**Max peers sneakily over his shoulder at an elegantly dressed woman inspecting the heirloom tomatoes**

Max: Damn. If I wasn't dating Ashlee and I actually had my shit together, I'd be all over that.
Tim: Hashtag wifey from another lifey!
Max: Seriously!
Tim: We need to get jobs...
by Maxwell Dope November 12, 2013
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