3 definitions by MathKills

Improvising personal hygiene solutions when not having the time or means to take a real shower. For a true Jack Bauer Shower, one has to use Lysol antibacterial wipes on one's nether regions. The pain means it's working.
Dude1:"Dude, you stink like shit dipped in vinegar and your interview is in 10 minutes!!!"
Dude2: "Time for a Jack Bauer Shower!!"


Reporter: "You've been lost in the woods for 2 weeks! How did you stay so fresh?!"
Jack Bauer: "I'm Jack Bauer."
by MathKills February 10, 2009
Getting some unexpected but very welcome recognition or windfall.

Winning something awesome, against the odds.
President Obama never saw that Nobel Peace Prize coming. Surprise!

I woke up this morning to a Peace Prize surprise: hot, naked booty! Thanks, beer!
by MathKills November 07, 2009
Something very advanced, technologically or otherwise, but completely useless.

A concept or idea that, while 105% awesome, has no real world applications whatsoever.
James Bond: "Hey Q, I've got all these gadgets left I didn't fucking use! This watch, you push a button, turns into a hamster. What was the point of that? And the jam trousers, was that your idea? Fucking useless!"

John: "I've just put up a website that takes your picture and shows you what you'd look like covered in bird poop!"
Jane: "Awesome! And about as useful as a watch that turns into a hamster"
by MathKills December 15, 2009

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