Martin Duxon's definitions

crop spraying

Crop spraying - explosive diarrhoea in which one decorates the toilet bowl with fart art in much the same way as a farmer sprays dung onto his field

Doctor to patient: "ah yes, its Mr Smith isnt it? So how are the bowels today, are we crop spraying or cable laying?"

by Martin Duxon July 17, 2003

xylophone

To move along a line of naked women who are all bending down, and spank their bottoms - which are of varying sizes - with one’s penis; to play a tune on women's buttocks. From the Greek xylo meaning ‘wood’ and phonnicus meaning ‘to hit tunefully’

by Martin Duxon August 8, 2003

Irn Bru Poo

A condition arising after drinking too much of the soft drink "Irn Bru". Has the unusual effect of rendering your stools into particularly pungent dark, dense iron-like ingots that cut through the bog water as though it wasnt there, often producing considerable splashback and chipping the porcelain.

"I went to drown the chocolate slugs but it turned out to be a turd so big it couldnt be dispensed without vocal assistance, a groaner"

by Martin Duxon August 8, 2003