6 definitions by Mark_J

Drive up to a toll booth, look the attendant in the eye, reach out your twenty dollar bill and don't let go. Begin counting to yourself "one one thousand.. two one thousand.." If the attendant breaks the chain first, take your time and double it (ie 30sec x 2 = 60 points). If you break first, then there's no multiplier (30sec = 30 pts).

If the attendant cracks a smile at any point, immediately let go, smile and say "who loves ya?". The multiplier for a smiling attendant is x5 (ie 30sec x 5 = 150). Operation tool booth chicken is not about agitating tool booth attendants, but about prying open the lid of their cold toll booth coma and pouring some sunshine in.

The next day is round 2. If it's the same attendant, multiply total score by an additional multiplier x2 (ie 30sec x 2 x 2 = 120). Third day, if same attendant, multiplier is x3, etc. as difficulty escalates.

NOTE: If the police show up, you're advised NOT to play driver's license chicken for obvious reasons, but if you must, the danger multiplier is x10. And I salute you.

Extra credit: Have your passenger record video for posterity. Add 100 points to total your score.

See also: driver's license chicken, drive-thru chicken
"Hey Eddie, I'm bored let's go play some toll booth chicken! A six pack says you'll never defeat my 172!"
by Mark_J January 17, 2009
Figure out a way to get pulled over by the police that doesn't endanger the public, roll down your window, look the policeman in the eye, reach out your driver's license and don't let go. Begin counting to yourself "one one thousand.. two one thousand.." If the policeman breaks the chain first, take your time and double it (ie 30sec x 2 = 60 points). If you break first, then there's no multiplier (30sec = 30 pts). Then multiply by an additional x10 danger multiplier (30sec x 2 x 10 = 600).

If the policeman cracks a smile at any point, immediately let go, smile and say "who pays your paycheck?". The multiplier for a smiling policeman is x500 because there's not a snowball in hell that he'll smile to begin with, so (10sec x 500 = 5000). Operation driver's license chicken is not about agitating policemen, but about reminding them the customer is always right.

The next day is round 2. If it's the same policeman, you're not multiplying anything by anything because you'll be on to the next challenge, hand cuff chicken.

Extra credit: Have your passenger record video for posterity. Add 5,000 points to total your score, because you just leveled up to straight jacket chicken.

See also: toll booth chicken, drive-thru chicken
"Hey Eddie, I'm starving, man. Even prison food would beat this empty fridge. Let's go play driver's license chicken!"
by Mark_J January 17, 2009
Roll up to the window of a fast food drive-thru after placing an order, look the worker in the eye, reach out your twenty dollar bill and don't let go. Begin counting to yourself "one one thousand.. two one thousand.." If the worker breaks the chain first, take your time and double it (ie 30sec x 2 = 60 points). If you break first, then there's no multiplier (30sec = 30 pts).

If the worker cracks a smile at any point, immediately let go, smile and say "you are appreciated." The multiplier for a smiling employee is x5 (ie 30sec x 5 = 150). Operation drive-thru chicken is not about annoying drive-thru workers, but about reminding them you appreciate them standing on their feet for 8 hours making less than Indonesian child laborers, just so you can pay 99 cents for a burger, you cheap f---.

The next day is round 2. If it's the same worker, wave and drive past - forget it, man. Unless you like a burger with extra spit after they used it in their lunchtime broom hockey tournament? If you go through with it, then multiply total score by an x5 danger multiplier (ie 30sec x 2 x 5 = 300). When you get to the E.R., try to at least get the word salmonella out so they have something to go on.

Extra credit: Have your passenger record video for posterity. Add 100 points to total your score.

See also: toll booth chicken, driver's license chicken
"Hey Eddie, I'm starving, man. Let's go to mickey's and play some drive-thru chicken!"
by Mark_J January 17, 2009
A severely overweight aircraft passenger that knowingly defies airline policy and purchases a single ticket for airfare, fully aware their ass will occupy two or more seats. "Two ticket asses" are usually female, and play dumb as they attempt to board the aircraft, as if not understanding what all the fuss is about. They take perverse pleasure in making the life of the stewardess (aka walrus handler) miserable.
"I'm sorry, madame. You have only a single ticket and this airline has a policy that mandates the purchase of two tickets for severely overweight passengers. You'll have to go back to the check-in counter. No, mam, this is not a joke."

"Dayum, Shanika's bangin. You see dat barrel she towin? Dat some two ticket ass!"
by Mark_J January 16, 2009
Passing gas on a dance floor. Usually females, the dead giveaway is a momentary pause in their dance movement. They typically look down at their shoes and then up at the ceiling, or they look over one of their shoulders. Sometimes they'll smirk momentarily.

Extra credit: Walk up to the disco bomber, hold up your hand for a high five and yell "disco bomb!" if she meets you half way.
"Hey - did you see that? I think Ashley just dropped a disco bomb."
by Mark_J January 17, 2009
1. Term used to describe the unexpected or unwelcome delivery of any of the various male fluids onto a woman's face, resulting in a "scrunched up" facial expression as though the girl had just bitten into a sour lemon.

2. The permanent facial expression of Ellen Degenerates, as if she'd "just smelled poo" or caught a whiff of sour milk from an old carton in the refrigerator.
"She must have been really drunk, because when I climaxed she didn't make her usual lemon face".

"She started off with a few apple martinis, and ended up with a lemon face."

"She seemed to like the sex up until the climax, when she made a lemon face."
by Mark_J October 14, 2008

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