Mark Shackelford's definitions

Neiman Markups

A department store where you can purchase the same items as in other stores for twice the price.

My mom bought me a pair of gay shorts for $80 at Neiman Markups. I saw the same shorts at Foley's for $40 and they were just as gay.

by Mark Shackelford July 30, 2007

holysexual

Men and women who completely abstain from even the hint of sex until married and only have sex with their spouse in obedience to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

<pastor> I didn't even kiss my wife until we were married. On our honeymoon, it was about a two hour drive to our hotel after the flight. I was doing all I could to contain myself. We finally arrived and what happened after that is none of your business.
<teenager> Were you asexual or something?
<pastor> No, I am a holysexual.

by Mark Shackelford June 1, 2007

mexican cereal

Corn chip fragments mixed with salsa eaten with a spoon.

When life throws you nothing but the bottom of a bag of corn chips and some salsa, make mexican cereal!

by Mark Shackelford August 6, 2007

Jeep

A term used to loosely describe your SUV when trying to act like you're so full of life that you don't even know what you really drive.

<customer> I need a part for my Mitsubishi Jeep.
<parts man> Is that a Mitsubishi or a Jeep?
<customer> It's a Mitsubishi.
<parts man> What model Mitsubishi?
<customer> A Jeep.
<parts man> Alright, is that a Wrangler, Cherokee or Grand Cherokee?
<customer> No, it's a Mitsubishi.
<parts man> What kind of Mitsubishi?
<customer> A Mitsubishi Jeep.
<parts man> Do you have the VIN?
<customer> No, I don't.

by Mark Shackelford May 31, 2007

eggslax

The sudden, involuntary, rapid emptying of one's bowels after eating too many eggs.

<egg eater> I'm about to bingo stamp my underwear in a very big way if I don't find a restroom.
<meat eater> Was it something you ate?
<grain eater> He's got a bad case of eggslax!

by Mark Shackelford May 31, 2007

Fluffy

Adaptation for the acronym for Furry Little Friend. FLuFfy

<singer> You're my furry little friend, I call you Fluffy!
If you mat up all your fur, I'd call you Scruffy.

by Mark Shackelford August 2, 2007

new guitar smell

The fragrance or odor you get when you first open the case of a new guitar. Only happens with custom built guitars that are recieved within a few days of manufacturing.

<Employee 1> Take a look at my new Carvin CT4M!
<employee 2> Whoa! It's still got new guitar smell!

by Mark Shackelford May 27, 2007