Corporate franchise employee(s) responsible for preparing food and drink for the general public regardless of the fact that said employee may have a phallic protrusion growing on their hand(s). Also note this condition may be worsened by the growth coming into contact with (or being used to stir) hot beverages. It should also be noted that although not required, the "Dick Hand" in question is not required to be covered by food safe latex gloves - but indefinitely should be. See also "Sticky Bag".
"My whole afternoon was farruged as that horrible Dick Hand molested my delicious beverage - that moment changed my for life forever."