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3 definitions by Machiavelli

 
1.
1) An undervalued being, typically possessing low to no self-esteem, whom attempts to validate her existence by subjecting her spawn to meaningless activities and structure, often vandalizing her own vehicle, home and/or office space with memorabilia in an attempt to show others that she has not yet died.

2) A time bomb waiting to detonate in a therapist's office or a grocery check-out line after finding her double off coupon is no longer valid.
"But Mom, I just want to slash my wrists and listen to 311--"

"Mini-Van, ball, now!"
by Machiavelli August 30, 2003
 
2.
A self-containing prison with ironically no bars, gates or latches.
"Sure being a high school teacher is about as good as working in a cubicle, but at least I get tax deductions for target practice on the range."
by Machiavelli August 30, 2003
 
3.
1. To make moist; to moisten oneself or another person.

2. The act or process of making moist; to become moist.
I was moistenized by all the chest touching that occured last night.

I will moistenize you!
by Machiavelli May 31, 2005