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Guide to relationships

The following is a guide to relationships; it is written by someone who has never had a complete relationship and is therefore considered to be potentially objective 'n stuff
Guide to relationships
Primary requirements for a happy relationship:

Love
Honesty
Respect
Trust
Faith

Without all five of the aforementioned prerequisites; at least one of the participents will never be truly happy.

The key to a successful relationship is communication. Open and honest communication ensures that there are no problems, no doubts. If you are in love with someone, you have nothing to hide from them or from yourself.

To be honest with others, you must first be honest with yourself.
You do know when you are making the wrong decision; what is the point of lying to yourself? You still know the truth - thats just silly.
It is too easy to talk yourself into the wrong choice; it is just as easy to make the right choice and it just gets easier.
Honesty requires very little brain power and instead of hurting the ones who love you; it makes them stronger.

A relationship must be balanced!
You are equals in every way
You both make the decisions, you both take responsibility
Its all about love; not money, not power, not intelligence - just love.
by luke warm October 18, 2008
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I need to be held

Term used to describe how a lot of us feel when confronted with the joys of daily life.
Time to go to work - I need to be held

I have a cold - I need to be held

My house fell over - I really need to be held.

I need to be held is also a very effective way of hurting someone (if you are that way inclined (Refer: Bogan or Succubus):
"I need to be held, but not by you"
Trust me, it doesnt feel good
by Luke Warm August 15, 2008
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The Wanders

Imagine this senario:
You assertively walk into another room, you are focused, you have a purpose. People stop and stare because they can see you are not taking silver; small animals scurry with fervour away from your approaching footsteps; the clock ticks one last time....
You enter the room, you have reached your destination, the treasure is almost within your grasp; you can almost taste it, you want it oh so bad.
But then...
You have absolutely no idea what you were looking for or why you got off of your hot arse in the first place.

You retrace your steps; try ever so hard to remember what you were even doing, and just keep drawing blanks.
You have just experienced 'The Wanders'
Sandy: What are you looking for Bella?
Bella: Huh?
Sandy: Fair enough
Bella: Sorry boganface, just got the wanders
Sandy: It happens; maybe if you smoke a few Jades you will remember what the fuck you were looking for
Bella: Nah, i got it now; have you seen my lilac dolphin dildo?
Sandy: Ummm... yeah, Im keeping it warm for you
Bella: You are a sick fuck Sandy; definately time for treasure now
by Luke Warm October 21, 2008
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Freedom

Freedom is basically the right to be treated as an equal.
No-one has the right to exert any form of power over another, for any reason at all.
We all differ physically & intellectually; and circumstances do vary based both on merit and luck. We however diminish ourselves by using any of these 'advantages' to exert power.
Anyone who believes that they are better than another for whatever reason; is basically shallow and deluded.
If you do the right thing for the right reason and positively benefit the universe; you are far more likely to achieve happiness and essentially be at peace with yourself. Your conscience will always be there, it will always remember and it will hold you accountable. Do not delude yourself on this; the easy path often leads to great peril for your soul.
When you are doing something wrong, you are aware of it. You can lie to yourself (as many do), but what is the point? really that is just silly.
It is just as easy to make the right choice as is it to make the wrong one.
You have the freedom to disobey orders or rules (Refer norms).
You have the strength to do what needs to be done to try to benefit everything that exists.

Okay; I understand that things may already be in place; things are unfortunately not that simple. however, you can change your job, you can quit the military (hopefully), you can change how you act!!
It is possible to be in charge of a 100 people and not be an arsehole. If you are in charge of that many people you have the privilege of being able to increase the happiness of all of those souls. Sure, some of them wont appreciate it (Refer: Bogan) and there may be a price to pay, depending on the action that you take (remember: small steps still lead somewhere). But, it is still the right thing - its that simple.

Do you think you are something special? - prove it

Okay, thats all standard if rather random & verbose

Guess what!! - we are not the only things with brains on this planet - oh my god, who would have thought!!

Now we get to the meat of the matter....

Meat; yep, thats right.

A heathen is one who is spiritually unenlightened. I would assume that the majority of contemporary religions would agree that this is true. They are unfortunately all under the delusion that their particular doctrine is the correct one.

"My parents said god is made of hemp and rice and loves the cock"
The example above is of course the truth, however a lot of you would have been told similar stories by your parents, such as:

"God is all knowing and all seeing"
"Animals were put on this earth for us to increase our egos and to make our arses fatterer if we so desire"
"God had a son called Jesus, who was an Anglo-Saxon carpenter"

I am sorry; but if you believe that shit, you are not even fit to lick the windows of the short bus.
what makes you so sure that yours is the right path to follow, are your parents really that bright (cant be, because they listened to their parents!)

Anyway I digress (again)
The point I was trying to make was:
You do not have the right to control something elses life. You are a random bogan at best if you believe you can.
Sorry, its not 'a steak' its somethings leg or arse - you are truly a sick fuck.
These animals are bred in captivity, treated like shit by dickless red-neck duck fuckers and then murdered to feed your fat arse. What the fuck is that about, what is wrong with you?
It takes approximately 50 times the amount of protein to raise a cow to a murderable size as what you get out of it when you eat the poor fukka.
Doesnt make any sense apart from keeping the wheels turning for the rich morons and fucking up this beautiful planet that we all live on.

Apart form that - it is wrong, you do not have the right.
You cannot judge yourself to be superior to anything for any reason. The universe alone will judge you.
"I am Human, i am the smarterest thing in existence" too fuckin' funny dude, listen to you; if you believe that is true, you have such a long way to go.
Like most concepts, freedom is a tad more complex than most have ever considered.

While the term freedom generally conjures up images of slavery or detention in the minds of most norms; it is also intrinsic in every aspect of daily life.
ie.
Freedom to be yourself
Freedom to make your own choices
Freedom to express yourself
Freedom to do the right thing for the right reason.

Be honest with yourself and you will be free.

The problem is that you have to be honest with yourself in order to be honest with yourself - still dont get it?

If you are reading this and believe that you are doing the right thing for the right reason and that you do care for others at least as much as you care for yourself and that you are not limiting the freedom of others - then you are most likely deluded.

All of us can do more, we can all make some difference. We all know what is right and what is wrong.
We are just mainly too shallow, selfish and lazy to do anything about anything.

Stop eating meat
Dont abuse your children or anything else in any way
Dont yell at or hit 'your' pets, its not their fault you dont realise that they dont speak your language.
Do not intimidate
Do not exert control over others!!

I freely admit that I lost the plot on this one altogether.
That is my right - that is freedom

Wake up - the universe awaits

Monday 01/09/2008
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
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Nothing

All that is left when there is no love
I am nothing; there is nothing; nothing means anything without you.

What else have i thought of all year: Nothing
What else interests me anymore: Nothing
What used to have meaning, now means: Nothing

What do i have to look forward to now that you have made me completely random: Nothing but pain and emptiness.

There is nothing but love
Its up your bum, cant you feel it?
by Luke Warm October 18, 2008
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Jade

Jade is a generally green semi precious gemstone and as well as being a colour (Hex: 558A84 RGB: 85,138,132.) It is also the best name for a female (of any species) The name Jade is best suited to someone with dark hair and tends to conjure up an oriental feel (mmm... sounds hot)
The love of my life,
My reason for existence;
All my dreams come true,
I offer no resistance.

Bad poetry will I write,
far past the end of time;
my drink of choice is vodka,
with soda, lemon and lime.

Life is hard, I must admit my despair
I am in love, all should be so sweet
What is so right cannot be wrong
I love you

Note: it is the authors opinion that poetry does not have to rhyme. This point is especially valid when the poetry in question is of such a poor standard as is the case above.

However; this is of no importance as
I love Jade and I will continue to regardless of everything

Jade is Sweetness
Tracey is a Bogan
I am and have always been The lowest priority
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
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Norms

Everyone who is not willing to:
Think for, or be themselves.

Deriving from the word ‘Normal’
While normal has traditionally been considered to be a good thing to be; traditionally people have also clearly been fucktards; just look around you, we have fucked the planet that we live on, not real bright eh!!
Norms are everywhere

You don’t have to ‘dare to be different’; if you do that you are just another norm
Be whoever you are (unless you are a Bogan; way too many Bogans out there already)
Stand up for what you believe in
Dress how you want to dress
Listen to the music that you like
Don’t follow or make trends
Give a fuck by not giving a fuck
Express yourself (no, not like Madonna; like you!!)

Tuesday 06/01/2009
by Luke Warm January 6, 2009
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