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Luke Warm's definitions

Woolly Bush

1. Common name of the Australian native plant species 'Adenanthos sericeus'

2. Expansive growth of hair; in an area thats best kept bare.
I bet she has the biggest baddest woolly bush; Im scared, I need to be held.

Damn girl; there aint no way Im going down there till you have mowed the lawn.

Bogan #1: Dude, she looks woolly.
Bogan #2: Yep, sure is.
Bogan #3: No way dude, you didnt. That is so luke warm.
Bogan #2: Ive been exploring that for the last couple of weeks. Didnt your mother ask where I was?
Bogan #1: Too funny dude; he's been in your mums hot knickers again
Bogan #3: Bite me. Have you found any treasure in there?
Bogan #2: Sorry dude; I was miles away, thinking about your mums hot knickers again. No treasure, but I did catch a shitload of crabs and its wall to wall scrot-rot down there.
All bogans together: mmm... woolly bush
by Luke Warm August 6, 2008
mugGet the Woolly Bushmug.

Guide to relationships

The following is a guide to relationships; it is written by someone who has never had a complete relationship and is therefore considered to be potentially objective 'n stuff
Guide to relationships
Primary requirements for a happy relationship:

Love
Honesty
Respect
Trust
Faith

Without all five of the aforementioned prerequisites; at least one of the participents will never be truly happy.

The key to a successful relationship is communication. Open and honest communication ensures that there are no problems, no doubts. If you are in love with someone, you have nothing to hide from them or from yourself.

To be honest with others, you must first be honest with yourself.
You do know when you are making the wrong decision; what is the point of lying to yourself? You still know the truth - thats just silly.
It is too easy to talk yourself into the wrong choice; it is just as easy to make the right choice and it just gets easier.
Honesty requires very little brain power and instead of hurting the ones who love you; it makes them stronger.

A relationship must be balanced!
You are equals in every way
You both make the decisions, you both take responsibility
Its all about love; not money, not power, not intelligence - just love.
by luke warm October 18, 2008
mugGet the Guide to relationshipsmug.

I need to be held

Term used to describe how a lot of us feel when confronted with the joys of daily life.
Time to go to work - I need to be held

I have a cold - I need to be held

My house fell over - I really need to be held.

I need to be held is also a very effective way of hurting someone (if you are that way inclined (Refer: Bogan or Succubus):
"I need to be held, but not by you"
Trust me, it doesnt feel good
by Luke Warm August 15, 2008
mugGet the I need to be heldmug.

The Wanders

Imagine this senario:
You assertively walk into another room, you are focused, you have a purpose. People stop and stare because they can see you are not taking silver; small animals scurry with fervour away from your approaching footsteps; the clock ticks one last time....
You enter the room, you have reached your destination, the treasure is almost within your grasp; you can almost taste it, you want it oh so bad.
But then...
You have absolutely no idea what you were looking for or why you got off of your hot arse in the first place.

You retrace your steps; try ever so hard to remember what you were even doing, and just keep drawing blanks.
You have just experienced 'The Wanders'
Sandy: What are you looking for Bella?
Bella: Huh?
Sandy: Fair enough
Bella: Sorry boganface, just got the wanders
Sandy: It happens; maybe if you smoke a few Jades you will remember what the fuck you were looking for
Bella: Nah, i got it now; have you seen my lilac dolphin dildo?
Sandy: Ummm... yeah, Im keeping it warm for you
Bella: You are a sick fuck Sandy; definately time for treasure now
by Luke Warm October 21, 2008
mugGet the The Wandersmug.

Playing stupid buggers

Somewhat similar to Playing silly buggers
Playing stupid buggers is however never used affectionately or humorously; it is generally used in one of two different ways:

1. To refer to someone deliberately doing something wrong that is likely to have ramifications.

2. To refer to someone doing something really stupid that is likely to not end well at all
ex1. I dont know what she is up to, but knowing how her mind works; she is most likely playing stupid buggers

ex2.
Bogan #1 - Why are you in the hospital Bogan?

Bogan #2 - I broke my left armpit, right earlobe, right funny bone and my left nipple.

Bogan #1 - How did you do that you twit?

Bogan #2 - Well its a funny story you see, I was walking around in you mums hot knickers when...

Bogan #1 - ...oi, ive warned you before smartarse; you talk about my mums hot knickers again and I will break your appendix for you!!!

Bogan #2 - Sorry!! dude you got to lay off of the red meat and cheeseburgers, dont get your mums hot knickers in a twist

Bogan #1 Thumps Bogan #2

Bogan #2 - Oww, my fuckin appendix, you nasty fudgin' barstool

Bogan #1 - I did warn you mungbean

Bogan #2 - fair enough i guess; to tell you the truth I jumped off of the roof on my rollerblades with a bowling ball

Bogan #1 - So you were playing stupid buggers then, thats all I needed to know, good luck getting that Darwin award, dont give up on the dream

Bogan #2 - You didnt let me finish!!, anyway, there I was minding my own business on my roof, with my rollerblades and bowling ball wearing your mums hot knickers when...

Bogan #1 - You stupid son of a bitch...

***Censored*** ***Censored*** ***Censored*** ***Censored***

Note: its not really censored I just thought writing down those Batman sounds of violence was rather gay

Note #2: There is nothing wrong with being gay, everyone has the Freedom and The right to make the choice of who they want to root. Regardless of your sexual orientation (Im with the Church of Cliff Richard at the moment personally) please have a good read of the Guide to relationships

Cool... 13 cross references!!
I wonder if Narcissism is defined here?

Sunday 02/11/2008
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
mugGet the Playing stupid buggersmug.

What the fuck?

An expression used to convey various reactions to events. ‘What the fuck?’ may be used in an attempt to explain any one or combination of the reactions/emotions listed below and then some.

A: Confusion
B: Incredulous confusion
C: Surprise
D: Disappointment
E: Hurt
F: Anger
G: Ironically
What the fuck?’ Is rarely used as a positive statement; however it may be used ironically to convey such is life (refer ex G)


A: Confusion
Why would someone use someone else who is in love with them?

B: Incredulous confusion
How could you use me to make him jealous?, to get yourself a valentines day present?, to add some excitement to your life?, to distract you?, to improve your ego?, to do most of your study?, to improve your sex life?

C: Surprise
It is a surprise to me that people can even think that way, can lie so much even to themselves, can take pleasure from causing others pain, can actually be proud of themselves for being a total arsehole

D: Disappointment
It disappoints me that even now you cannot tell the truth; that you can forget so much so easily; that it was all a lie, all just a game to you

E: Hurt
Guess what? – when you think you can feel no more pain, there is always more. To be lied to and used by someone that you have given yourself to is more hurt than anyone should have to feel

F: Anger
I am angry at myself for being a tool; I sometimes feel anger towards Tracey for being a bogan

G: Ironically
Everything I do even now, benefits you in your little game and hurts me even more. Every chance I give you just allows you to tell more lies; I am sick of Tracey time. I will talk to him, the truth will by known one way or the other. This is between us three; if he will not speak to me, I will speak to others. I have given more than enough opportunities for the truth to be told. This cannot continue. You will always be a Victorian

Tuesday 11/11/2008
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
mugGet the What the fuck?mug.

Tool

1. Something that is used to assist with the modification of an object or situation.

2. Something that is used to create or destroy.

3. Slang synonym for the males sexual reproduction whatsit.

4. Someone who does seemingly silly things; often used as a term of endearment, but not always!
I am a tool because I have been used to:
Improve someones ego;
Distract them from the mediocrity of their own existance;
Make someone else jealous;
To improve someones elses relationship (how bizarre);
To get them a valentines day present (this year)

For love.
For happiness.
For laughter.

To do everything for them, and in return:
To accept all of the guilt.
To hold all of the pain.
To take all of the blame.
(It was never a game).

A good tradesman respects his tools!!


A Hammer is a tool both used to create and to destroy.

My penis is a somewhat rusty tool I must admit (only from lack of use!!).

I hit my penis with a hammer while making pancakes (as you do)
That sure modified the fuck out of both the objects involved and the situation:
I created a lot of pain
I destroyed the pancake batter (all over the floor), and my willy - must admit i chipped a bit off of the hammer handle too!!

I hit my tool with a tool; I am such a tool

I do not regret being a tool - my penis however has a somewhat different (slanted) view on the subject

Sunday 02/11/2008
by Luke Warm December 22, 2008
mugGet the Toolmug.

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