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3 definitions by Lord Pignuts

 
1.
When one takes a day old baked potato and puts it in the microwave for 30 seconds, and then has sexual relations with said potato.
Fred loves the Idaho pocket pussy. But now the grocery store is sold out of potatoes.
by Lord Pignuts February 19, 2009
 
2.
Finding a scottish man playing the bagpipes, lift up his kilt and shove a popsicle in his ass.
McLaren's pipes sounded a bit hoarse after I snuck up on him and gave him the shivering scottsman.
by Lord Pignuts February 21, 2009
 
3.
Scrumpet, or Scrumpets;

A slang term for semen, such as spooge, cum, jizz, baby batter, etc. Also used to bait unicorns with, as unicorns are known to be highly aroused by scrumpets.
Sue, would you like some scrumpets? There is a fresh batch here in my skin bag.

Unicorns and whorses alike can't resist the taste of fresh scrumpets.

I hooked up with Stacey last night, and dropped a fat scrumpet on her chin.
by Lord Pignuts April 21, 2009