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Logical Empiricist Stoic's definitions

Fauchovah

The omniscient & omnipotent deity, who becomes man who becomes super god, and ultimately inspires, leads, & controls the minds & combined will of his Covidian religious cult followers.

Like any god, he retains absolutely no accountability because good outcomes are due to his gracious benevolence while undesired consequences result from his purging crucible or fully-merited sanctions.
“I’m not feeling well with a symptom that could be from any ailment listed in any of all the world’s medical journals & blogs.”

“Praise Fauchovah!”
by Logical Empiricist Stoic October 22, 2023
mugGet the Fauchovahmug.

Black Obama

In some Asian-speaking lands (& pronounced "Balack Obama"), it was believed that this is how Americans addressed Barack Obama.

In part, the confusion stemmed from the similarity of the "L" and "R" sounds within their spoken languages and the fact that the skin-color-obsessed USA focused so much attention on their first "black" president.
"So his name is not Balack Obama (aka Black Obama). It's Barack Obama!"

"Ah! So what's the diffelence?"
by Logical Empiricist Stoic September 10, 2023
mugGet the Black Obamamug.

Jigger Gobs

A blatantly obvious spoonerism to describe work that is usually of a temporary nature in this relatively new "gig economy", thus allowing companies to avoid the associated obligation, liability & costs of hiring employees.
"I ain't got no skrilla to pay for some reggie. Yo!"

"Just go online and take some Jigger Gobs."

OR:

"I need somebody to sweep up this crap!"

"You'd better find someone else. I don't do Jigger Gobs. Yo!"
by Logical Empiricist Stoic November 19, 2023
mugGet the Jigger Gobsmug.

CLA

Covid Level Alert (CLA), aka Chicken Little Alarm, is an overreaction to a potentially high-risk event with low (realistically no) probability of occurrence.

Such responses are typically based on emotions, thus bypassing the human brain’s logical reasoning centers.
"Whoa! Eating that could kill a nigga!"

"Stop making a CLA like a bitch!"
by Logical Empiricist Stoic September 10, 2023
mugGet the CLAmug.

SheToo Movement

A social countermovement and awareness campaign against female entitlement and lack accountability which results in unfounded false accusations towards men.
Man sues 50 women for $2.6 million after they called him a bad date in viral FB group, thus beginning the #SheToo Movement
by Logical Empiricist Stoic April 13, 2024
mugGet the SheToo Movementmug.

Fauchovah's Witness

A member of the Covidian sect of cultish apologists who fervently adhere to the teachings and mandates of the one and only true Fauchovah.
"Do NOT confuse Fauchovah's Witnesses with JWs."

"One is the sole religion of the only true god & the other is Jehovah's Witnesses!"
by Logical Empiricist Stoic September 11, 2023
mugGet the Fauchovah's Witnessmug.

CPN

CPN (aka Cost Per Nut) is the empirical value that ultimately answers the question, “Which woman is hotter?”

In its simplest form:

CPN = total resources spent (MONEY + TIME + EFFORT) / number of directly induced orgasms (not including fantasized jerk-offs)

MONEY includes meals, gifts, etc. TIME includes the number of dates, phone calls, emails, etc. EFFORT takes into account travel, meeting her friends & family, etc.

Because of the subjective nature of dating and relationships, (ie “I prefer blondes”, “I like big butts”, “I’m a boob man”, etc), CPN condenses to one of the most basic goals of male dating and the relative cost of reaching it.

Note that CPN will vary greatly for the same woman depending on her evaluation of the individual male. While one hears “I don’t do that”, Chads easily bypass her defenses or simply aren’t confronted with such automatic barriers.

CPN is often challenged by the emotional female response “You can’t put a price on love!” This is ostensibly true. However, all too often and late, once-enamored males find themselves on the wanting side of female-biased institutions, such as divorce court, where a judge will tell him, to the penny, how much “love” costs per month.

In practical application, CPN tends to enhance the merit of the Hotness Scale (aka Hot-Crazy Matrix) and helps males focus on their innate logic before being overwhelmed by primal urges and emotions.
"Hey Bro! I think they’re both hot & really like me. Which one should I choose?"

"Pull yourself together my man! All that matters is which one has the lowest CPN. Yo!"
by Logical Empiricist Stoic September 3, 2023
mugGet the CPNmug.

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