Lex Sleuthor's definitions

Friend surfing

Killing time by clicking through unknown friend's of your known friends on Facebook. Usually followed by five to ten minutes of friend surfing through complete strangers.

Damn, Toby knows some strange people. (click) This chick is hot, how did he meet her I wonder? (click) Look at this fucking hipster! Too bad Facebook blocks their info...

Friend surfing!!

by Lex Sleuthor July 11, 2009

fagnet

A guy who attracts homosexual guys like a magnet. Usually the fagnet is not gay himself.

Sally: Hey Tim, wanna go to the gay bar with us? They always have better music there.

Tim: Love to, but I'm a real fagnet. I always get molested when I'm there. Think I'll pass, but have a great time.

by Lex Sleuthor June 6, 2009

shamonella

Pretending that you have food poisoning to get out of work or onerous duties.

Brad: Why didn't John get up to come fishing with us this morning?

Brenda: Dude said his stomach hurt, that maybe he had some bad tuna yesterday.

Brad: Sounds like a case of shamonella to me.

by Lex Sleuthor May 29, 2009

Cell potato

A person too lazy to get off their ass and go see colleagues in the same office or building, who contacts them instead by cellphone.

At the watercooler....

Jon: Hey Sally, how's things?
Sally: Not bad. Got any weekend plans?
Jon: Well, I was thinking (phone vibrates) sorry, gotta check this. Hello? (looks around, sighs) I'll get one.
Sally: Who was that?
Jon: Bob. He wanted a cup of water.
Sally: But he is sitting right over there! What a cell potato...
Jon: What's a 'cell potato?'
Sally: Ever heard of Urban Dictionary?

by Lex Sleuthor April 26, 2010

Naghole

A mouth used only to bitch and nag at people. Usually my wife's, usually at me.

Holy Christ, you've been bitching at me all day. Shut your naghole, won't you?

by Lex Sleuthor August 19, 2009

karaoke sadist

A singing-talentless person who deliberately chooses songs at karaoke that are painful to listen to and who uses their power or authority to inflict their singing on others.

John: Man, President Watanabe's singing is terrible! Why does he always take us to karaoke? And he's the boss so I can never say no...

Yumiko: That guy is a pure karaoke sadist!

by Lex Sleuthor May 29, 2009

Zombpocalypse

1 The impending time when the dead will rise from their sleep to devour the living.

2 A party or uni class where you are urrounded by dull, lifeless types.

My cousin went batshit crazy and is living in the mountains hoarding guns and food for the Zombpocalypse. Least I got a place to run to if that shit ever hits the fan.

Holy crap, that English department mixer was a real Zombpocalypse. Let's hit a bar - I need a stiff drink in a place with a pulse.

by Lex Sleuthor September 1, 2009