Glossy centerfolds of kittens and their ilk staring lovingly into the camera or doing something unabashedly cute. Usually adorns the wall of seniors or other lonely people.
I got grandma another calender of cats for Christmas. She loves the kitty porn.
A guy who attracts homosexual guys like a magnet. Usually the fagnet is not gay himself.
Sally: Hey Tim, wanna go to the gay bar with us? They always have better music there.
Tim: Love to, but I'm a real fagnet. I always get molested when I'm there. Think I'll pass, but have a great time.
When PMS reaches a critical fission point resulting in a total emotional meltdown of the PMSer and a poisoning of their surroundings so bad that any cohabitators must immediately flee the scene.
Chris: Hey Tom, could you let me in to the office? I left my keycard home.
Tom: That's not like you. What happened?
Chris: Oh the wife went hormonal chernobyl this morning and I skedaddled without cellphone, card, and lunch.
Tom: That's tough man. Spot you for lunch?
Chris: Dude, much appreciated.
Tom: Bros before hos man.
Killing time by clicking through unknown friend's of your known friends on Facebook. Usually followed by five to ten minutes of friend surfing through complete strangers.
Damn, Toby knows some strange people. (click) This chick is hot, how did he meet her I wonder? (click) Look at this fucking hipster! Too bad Facebook blocks their info...
A mouth used only to bitch and nag at people. Usually my wife's, usually at me.
Holy Christ, you've been bitching at me all day. Shut your naghole, won't you?
Pretending that you have food poisoning to get out of work or onerous duties.
Brad: Why didn't John get up to come fishing with us this morning?
Brenda: Dude said his stomach hurt, that maybe he had some bad tuna yesterday.
Brad: Sounds like a case of shamonella to me.
A skewed idea of fashion mostly seen in women where trashy or overly revealing clothes are considered chic.
Anne: How does this leopard skin shirt look on me? I cut it off below the boobs to show my belly. Pretty sexy with this jean skirt?
Lisa: Honey, you have some trashon sense.